I really request that Nicole, Annazed, Brosti, Susan, Lori, Alyssa, Rikki, Emily, Miss C, and the rest of my beloved bn girls do not read today's post at streetcarnage.
It's about addiction and whoring and really captures me at my worst. For filthy bastards like Jaques and Rory Sparrow, you'll love it.
I'll post the link here when it's up - should be about 3pm nohomo.
Update: Here tis.
12 comments:
Fat chance you can shoo us away, although those SC "commentators" (comment tater-vous?) are mostly no-fun, snot-picking dopes.
Brosti, you were on a tear over at Benjamin's blog. I think you need to show those punks at SC a thing or two about what's what.
BN, you know when you say "Don't Look" people are going to look even more.
hot shit, as per usual.
"...can rub an airbubble out of an iphone cover..." is genius.
If god was really out to fuck you up, that "massage" "room" would have had an opaque, scratchy, plastic junkie mirror on the ceiling where after you see Chewy's bald spot and neck moles/AIDS, you catch a glimpse of yourself rock hard and at rock bottom (with argyles calf high).
After you realize your pubis region is in need a little trim, you understand that you will probably wind up one of those divorced creeps who drive around the Jr. College with a bag full of schwag asking coeds if they "partied."
But you cannot stop because of the dick-brain paradigm and the money already exchanged. That's how a god would roll (and how a JewFro reconciles his budget).
Now I have Bob Dole Erectile Dysfunction from thinking about this nightmare tugger of yours. I close my eyes and see you/me in that mirror all jacked on dick-brain chems and paranoia praying for release or death.
Of course I'll go to the Starbucks and see a bit of barista titty curve on the side of one of those new (Red) aprons and be all cured.
It is a vicious cycle.
@o_w_g: Ha! It's fun to occasionally take on the anonymous nincompoopery. But then I think, "Der, I am wasting my time."
I know exactly what you mean, BN, and only wish my addiction was so harmless. Here's where you could be: I have (recent) video of a woman in her late 40s who took her top teeth out, with both(!) of my nuts in her mouth (and they ain't little, neither). Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.
Jesus I'm glad I'm rich, you my friend have a serious problem, which you've had since I've known you. I can't bring myself to get a jackin' from a beast. You need to go full blown, stop being a pussy. There is 0.0% chance you will go to jail for banging a hooker unless you finish off the session by grinding her into cat food. What you need to determine is if you can get by with an additional woman that you see 1x a week or so, or if you have a constant need for new strange pussy. I am in the latter camp, you need to figure out which you are and proceed from there. You are not going to get AIDS or anything else incurable unless you start picking up street-meat under the Queensboro, keep it to the $300+ per hour range and you're good, less overseas of course. I would suggest assembling a small farm-team that you can rotate through, substituting in new draft picks as veterans retire. This does require a "whoring budget" which is easy to exceed but some restraint and your natural Sammy Davis-ness should help with that. Now, do NOT make the mistake of going to non-professionals, they are the ones who will get you divorced. There is a reason for whores and in many cultures the wife ignores whoring as long as the husband doesn't throw it in her face or come home with a Taiwanese dick-slug. Final point, always book a two hour window for a one hour appointment, this leaves you an hour after to calm down, come out of your jizz haze, and notice you have lipstick on your collar or other such cliches. Hey, have a drink, you've earned it!
It gets worse...
http://dailyuw.com/2007/8/8/hpv-is-at-your-fingertips/
top quality post today, bn. have you both cracked up and vomited at the same time? IT COMES OUT YOUR NOSE, YOU BASTARD.
I got it man, she was saying "I no got PAPERS." She isn't here legally...she needs help...it was a fucken marriage proposal brother.
You need to man up, do the right thing and make an honest woman outta that walking hand. Welcome to your next hell...bigamy.
Ty--love the argyle socks baby...that makes the whole picture.
You married folks are weird.
BN I do have to commend your level of restraint, or rather your choice in stranger pleasures. You are participating in probably the only sex act that cannot give you an std.
Contrary to Mr. Lesley's assertation, you can and most likely will get something uncurable e.g. herpes, or hpv* (*it is now shown that your body kills the hpv virus usually in about 4 years) from getting head or even protected sex with a pro. Which will be really shitty to get considering you have a wifey to worry about. When I was a lass of 18 I had a boyfriend (who had only fucked one other chick at the time no bullshit) who I always used protection with and he never had any suspicious marks on his person and guess what I ended up with the herp! It really ain't a big deal for me cause I've only ever had two outbreaks and I'm 24 now and I've also luckily never given it to my current bf of 2plus years. But for real the risk is there no matter what. Anyone can get that shit and the chances are way higher that one of these pro hoes has one or the other to give ya. Stick with the handies if you want to remain clean and not worry about infecting your lovely wife.
Sorry to be all soap boxy but I loves ya bn. Carrying around an std sucks, I have been dating people in the past and then had the inevitable "I have herpes" converstion and guess how many of them ask me out again, slim to none. Now imagine having that conversation with your wife!
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