"The Bristol Hotel cause it ain't no thingAnd her meat taste better than Burger King."
--L.L. Cool J, Bristol Hotel
Read it right here on the carnage of street.
p.s. Plz don't email me giving me a hard time about posting on SC, because with all the talk urging me to set up the Blognigger Diaper Fund, in six months I've gotten less than $200, and that's just because one angel gave $50 twice. I'm not whining cause times are tough for all, but you can't front on me for posting on SC and hooking myself up a little...
Post will be up in few mins so hope you enjoys...
16 comments:
Yeah, fuck those haters BN. Though what won't be cool is if you dump this site for the first book deal that comes along. Get a deal, just don't put out a book full of old blognigger posts and like 2 pieces of original content. That would make you a hack.
No goddamn lie. Eat, fuck, fight. Eat some more. It's the BK way in '08. A new world order. Change and Hope.
I had a Penna Turnpike Whopper after Thanksgiving and almost asked for a goddamn job application (and a tissue because I shot a decent load in my 501s). I almost drove back to the relative's house to piss on their leftover turkey and stuffing (new BK ad pitch) and pass out BK gift certificates.
I hadn't been that happy since I counted all my newborn's fingers and toes.
I hate to always fucking agree here but what the fuck, Blognigger? What the fuck?! Who are you?
Seriously, BK has a commerical where the dude waiting in line at the drive-through kills the people in front of him to get to his "The New Steakhouse" sandwich. Genius!
I make my wife watch that ad like seven times every time it comes up on the VHS (fuck TiVo, you miss that shit, mopetards). And I laugh like a stoned hyena.
McDonalds is Bush/Cheny. BK is Barack. NO. BK is Todd Palin.
Allow me to say this as plainly as possible:
Fuck anyone who gripes about you posting on SC.
If I could, I would also. You deserve to get something for the amount of dedication you put into this blog and if that means you dance a jig for the man once in a while then so be it. You're not changing who you are or what you have to say when you post on SC so I don't see how it could be interpreted as selling out in any way.
Secondly,
I had food poisoning off a Whopper in 99 (2000?) and I thought I was going to die. I puked over 15 times in less than an hour and everytime that shit would come up it left that aftertaste in my mouth - that mayonnaise/onion nastiness that you can only catch off a BK Whopper. As I lay on the ground in the foetal, paralyzed, staring at the floor of my washroom my mind a complete blank readying my soul for its escape into the Next, I remember clearly thinking to myself: if you live through this, NEVER AGAIN.
And I haven't. Close to 10 years strong. It's dead to me. Say "BK" to me and I'll think you're talking about those shoes from the 80's that had red lights built into the sole. DEAD.
Do as you need to though. To each his own.
only a selfish fuck would dare not support your successful ability to connect with readers. i found you at sc and i've passed your entries along. i hope others are doing the same.
"almost asked for a goddamn job application"
This had me on the floor.
ssshhhhhhhhhh keep eating.
No, that? I'm not sharpening anything, I was organizing my change to get you more Whoppers.
Get a triple this time fatty.
Fatty? No I didn't say that I said hottie.
sssssshhhhhhhh, no, finish that one first, that's right, ok here's another.
hee hee
why does anyone have a problem with SC anyway? that shit fucking rules. and if you don't like it its clear you are either (a) old or (2) a fucking dork.
SC pays?
Hey Ed:
All right, SE7EN, you just effing freaked me out.
"(R.I.P. Fuckin oldschool 82st street in the 1980’s - after seeing Indiana Jones Temple of Doom at Lowes 84th?! can i get a witness?!?"
You want a witness - how about going to that BK after seeing Star Wars at Lowes 83rd Street (when it was across the street and still one massive screen). My dislike of McDs and love for BK also arises from that same 82nd st location (since the only area McDs is still 70th and Amsterdam). Do you remember the plastic "King" hand puppets they gave all the kids? That death bag would never fly in today's lawsuit happy world.
How about a stop for a grilled cheese from the old Chock Full of Nuts diner on 86th and Broadway (next to Sloans), or maybe a black and white cookie from Cake Masters on 85th. Oh, and never forget the fried chicken from Williams Barbecue on 86th. Man, that was good.
R.I.P. 1970-82, middle class, upper west side. I miss it so very much.
Knick, may be the best comment of all time.
You are so right - it was lowes 83rd of course. 84th is some newschool shit.
I saw GREASE at loews 83rd, I was 4. Then we went to BK for a "whopper plain."
pre barnes-and-noble, pre SOFTWARE ETC. on that corner...
amazing. that last line you wrote...i got chills. fullhomo
"Have it your way."
Oh shit! It's all so clear now. I'm having BK (not British Knights, but "The Kang" as we called it) flashbacks flooding back alluva sudden.
My high school in rich southern California college town had a mod-flex schedule (blah-blah but we were never confined to campus) so we were usually out drinking and getting real high. The Kang was about the closest fast food vendor just past city limits.
11th grade...I remember John Beatty (real name/fake spelling, TeeVee editor now) grabbing the microphone – you remember they had a nasty mic that they used to call the order back from the register – anyhow, John (or just "Beatty" as we called him in the day) for some reason just grabbed that bitch and started conversing to me and the entire restaurant and singing over the greazy ordering mic. Wouldn't give it back or anything until the manager stood and stared for a long, awkward time with his hands on his hips. They didn't like that so much.
Then Frank Lenns (real name/fake spelling, famous musician now) got into it with the Mexican cashier. He was all, "no pickles, no I'll have pickles, no, no pickles." Jorge or whatever was confused with the many competing layers of negatives. Pickles or not, that is the question. Finally they work out a gangland truce over the pickles and it was NO pickles. Long pause later Allejandro or whatever (it was southern California) was all, "How can you have a Whopper without pickles?"
Fuck. Frank was sitting on the counter, BTW. Truce violated! It was a on and I was quite high back in the day (also).
I am certain that as a direct result of our behavior we ate much Notorious B.I.G. end of Gimme the Loot (cue 4:51) hacked-up phlegm oysters.
BK is to munchies what OJ is to retarded.
Out.
Sal's Pizza Anyone?
Golden's?
Wollworth's 79st?
Pat Cummings ballin on 83rd courts?
Jesus - I've never heard so much waxing nostaligic for places like a fucking BURGER KING. This whole "slowly shed a tear like the Soda-Can-Hating Indian for the lost New York of my childhood stuff" has seriously gone too far.
Anyway, did you notice that is was all white (or a very light shade of brown) people in that "Whoppper Virgins" ad? What's up with that? No Kalahari Bushmen at all.
ah, suck my dick anon '34
I miss that neighborhood, fuck off
Loews and BK eighty-deuce - word.
BRING BACK FAMILY NIGHT.
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