Hey yall - some of you might remember my best friend nohomo Benjamin.
Anyway, he thinks this shit looks easy, so he started his own blog with some other homos. I donated today's Ask BN column to him to get him some traffic.
Check it out here, and then leave comments over there - Their biggest comment thread so far is about 5 comments. Let's blow their minds with the BN effect and give them a gigantic thread of comments that they can never match again without our collective nutsack.
Hook me up :)
Peace
Monday, December 1, 2008
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11 comments:
so you're practically related to dfa, huh? her blog is very funny too. hope she won't drop it. i'd read her stuffs on the new one too, but you know, i'm pretty conservative: i like good old things.
I know we'll all be moved on to new Blognigger topics by now but I thought I'd add a post hoc fucking waterfall tower of text for my own masturbatory satisfaction. You can not read it, I don't care.
Parenting is the fuck hard, yuns.
I know. I'm the work from home and stay at home parent. And I'm a dude. My wife was ready to go back to her high-powered, big-time thing she calls a "career" like a week after giving birth. She hated the insipid mommy culture at the local Starbucks, she hated the lack of intellectual, adult stimulation and all of that retarded-ass haus frau mommy culture shit.
So I left my big, well-decorated downtown office and work wives and scams and three-beer lunches and opened a studio in my house. And I became the primary parent.
Now, six and a half years in, we have a weird thing. Our roles are completely reversed from the small town traditional American values Norman Rockwell Franklin Mint collector plate ideal. Wife's out of here by 7:00 and back home right around 7:00. Kid's in bed by 8:00.
I dress, feed, ensure that teeth are brushed, jacket zipped, backpack/lunch packed and hustle her ass off to school. Then I stand there with people I fucking hate and make small talk about the PTA as I pick her up to walk home.
I volunteer twice a month in her class and the school workroom. I listen to all the gossip. I eyeball the hottie teachers and MILFy moms. I'm "the Dad" who volunteers and chaperones.
I supervise homework and science fair bullshit and make two dinners every day (one for child and one for baby mama). I've been to the ER to get a broken arm set. I clean up the vomit. I let "playdate" terrors into my house.
Do I complain? Fuck no. It's the best life I've ever had. Parenting is the fuck hard though. Well, let me be clear: Good parenting is the fuck hard because it's work. Shitty/typical parenting is probably pretty goddamn easy; TeeVee and Chicken Mac Nuggets.
But providing the framework for creating a kid where your smartest, most artiest, most scammiest friends send you this kind of feedback: [clicky]. That's hard the fuck work.
I manage the house, shop for groceries (and talk to all the grocery workers), and finances like a COO. I run my own thing too.
So back to the original question: Do stay-at-home moms really work that hard? Some the fuck do. Most don't. Just a guess.
Sure, during the infancy and toddler years I wasn't as productive as I once was and am now, but you know what? I know my kid.
Like Kevin Spacey as Luther Burnham said in '99s hottest movie flick: I rule!
Word.
Yo Ty, was considering the same fate. Glad to hear that it can be done and happily (relatively). My wife makes more $ than me (if she went back to work full time) and I may have the "luck" to get fired. I'm in the middle about the decision.
Serious question though. Have you fucked any of the MILFY mom's? That would be a bonus and it's something that would interest me greatly. I love my wife, and have the same issues that most married men have. I don't get the hand jobs that BN advocates cause the one time I did the guy in the room next to me was my 300lb sweaty friend and the kind Gook lady licked his ass. What if I was next?
Any suggestions?
Ty, can I have your baby?
@Ty: mad *hearts* to ya, hon. You're an easy read. That's a compliment.
Shameless World Trade Center of text follows:
Rory:
I went from being an income equal (statistically speaking) to my lovely, wonderful, beautiful wife and working in a job I liked just fine to becoming financially inferior to my wife. I am the poorest (personally) I've ever been, my family however is doing just fine.
But I now do the work/art that I LOVE with all my heart and passion all fucking day long. It's like a dream come true for me. I pretty much make enough scratch (when I remember to bill) to cover supplies, equipment, and materials (most sponsors/angels have "liquidity" problems now and I declare lots of losses in at tax time).
I totally engineered the "layoff" from my old corporate job too. It was all rigged like everything else in America, of course. Lots of winks, handshakes, backslapping, and papers to sign. Severance + consulting, etc. But gone and now over. Good riddance suit monkeys I know where the bodies are buried, homos. Getting fired isn't about luck; it's a goddamn blessing.
Everybody should work from their homes (doing what they do). We'd have bitchin' communities with people around to talk with and smoke with all the time.
I live in a "community" where there are plenty of people around all day. Correction: the men go to work in offices and many women-folk stay around and do their mommy thing.
I serve on boards where people think I'm smart and cool and I am bored with their silly perceptions of what "issues" are.
I make shit for people to listen to and look at.
Official answer to handjob question: Didn't I mention that I have a beautiful, Ivy League-educated, funny wife whose family I love more than my own?
For the Blognigger Record, there is happiness and peace and plenty of space for productivity. I work nonstop doing what I want to do and will die with a trail of clues to my existence.
o_w_g:
I think one baby is enough for me, thanks (hard goddamn work!). But, mighty kind of you to ask. I'm flattered. Didn't I mention that I have a beautiful, Ivy League-educated, funny wife whose family I love more than my own?
I'm not a retarded mope; a MopeTard.
ty, here's the rub. My job has to be done at my place of business. I have no "hobbies" besides jerking off, smoking weed and watching sports. I would end up the male version of what BN speaks of. Between severance, unemployment and modest weed sales that would be my life. That and the kids. I have no other talents but my job and (my wife says) eating pussy. I am an uneducated workaholic who seems to be ready for a break after busting my ass 75-90 hours a week for the past 15 years.
It is a break. I know it's hard work, but what other profession do you know that you can do whatever the fuck you want for two hours a day when the kid takes a nap or you drop them off at play group. And the fucker hasn't even started school yet.
It would just help if there was some MILF pussy at the end of the tunnel to push it in one direction or another.
My beautiful wife went to one of the Lap Licker Ivy's. I love her folks way more than my own (I get high with my mother and law). I even still find her sexually attractive.
You know it aint about that.
Rory:
Are you me? I'm so confused. I probably could have written every word (save mother in law part) you wrote.
Yes, there's plenty of Milf action for the taking. There's your answer.
Become a foodie. Love that gourmet shit.
Ty, you are some sort of dream prince guy. How cool. I love your kid's "directions" for boxing. You are the shit, don't fuck it up by getting with those MILFs. Just wank, or something.
Already am G. That's the biz.
spoiled.
How about raising your kids alone with machetes poised over your neck and an open sewer in back? They don't work hard-they are BORED. There's a difference. These SAHMs whine because they're used to it, and they've gotten away with it because you let them. Stop the madness.
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