Well, it's been a week, so I think we should check on the petri dishes.
Tonight will be the one week anniversary of America electing a black man, and here's what I want to know: On your daily travels on the subway, or at Subway getting a turkey on wheat, or at the food co-op or the mall or pickin the kids up from nascar, or anywhere else in your daily travels: have you noticed any change in the imaginary collective attitude of America's Blacks?
Here's my report, tainted by my own blackness and park slope residency:
- On the day after, I got just as many "we did it" looks from whites as blacks. None of them seemed patronizing in the least because we were (are?) all so authentically elated. But all these blacks were the park slope blacks who look like me - i.e. successful and not scaryblacks. Now as for the scary realblacks:
- On the A train since Tuesday, I have seen many REAL black people lookin like niggaz does not give a FUCK, like maybe they didn't even hear the news about who won the election cause they was too busy bailin out they cousins.
Oh word? That nigga won the president? oh holdup this man got batteries.
For these guys it seemed like business as usual in the daily grind, and not even time for a day's reflection. (my perception, faggy, back off with your crits) - On the first day, and this was pretty heartening, I did see a lot of very young, very real, probably poor black kids celebrating. Hooting it up on the trains and streetcorners, being happy and excited and you gotta think that some of the legitimately inspirational and playing-field-evening significance of this is going to rub off on them, even if they were at that moment just sort of celebrating that "a black guy won!"
- In general I haven't noticed any substantive external change in the last week - the angry blacks are still angry, and positive black people are still positive. However, I think the biggest change has come from within, nohomo; That is to say, I find myself acting more naturally when dealing with people I would have politically-correctly danced around before the election.
I guess I didn't realize I was acting this way, but now that it feels different, I suppose I was: in the last week, I feel I've nullified my subliminally apologetic or nervous behavior when dealing with my target fear group: the judgemental blacks who don't have their shit together and would judge me for being successful / assimilated / a double-stuff oreo / having a white wife.
I'm using Obama as a shield, just as I knew I would, and so far I love it:
i) WHAT? Yall niggaz quit lookin at me funny - I may be successful and white, but I'm not as white and successful as the most famous white black guy: Black president!
ii) WHAT? Why are you in such a bad fuckin mood? Quit blockin the train doors. Who raised you?? Guess she didn't have her shit together like the white lady who raised our... Black president!
iii) Just gimme the donuts, keep that fuckin attitude. If you don't like your position here, you've chosen the wrong line of work. Work harder and change your situation like the... Black president!
iv) Can you slide the fuck over and lemme sit? Takin up the whole goddamn twoseat. Move your shit out the way nigga, I got a bum foot. Get up off ya ass and stop stinkin up the train car: Black president!
Black president!
26 comments:
To my daughter: "Brush your teeth sweetie so you can represent like our first Black President." (actual words)
To my wife: "Why are YOU celebrating, honky? You had 43 of them motherfuckers including Reagan, Bush, and Nixon so fuck you! Let me have mine--for one minute, okay? You didn't see me smiling like I found a dollar when John Qunicy Adams and Zachary Taylor [who looks black] won? Fuck Kennedy! Bush is yours, Barack is mine!" (actual words)
Mostly the change I see is from within (ahhhh). Walking light. Being big! All walking around like I own/won this shit my damn self (even more than before the New Black Mafia took this shit back).
But you know what? In my ultra-PC, liberal, moneyed, "master planned new-urbanist" opposite of diverse community I'm being allowed to act like own/won this shit. No lie. I went from being the odd but safe "African American" guy ("Oh, he's the artist...a little eccentric") neighbor to being the guy who is brown just like the president. I even wear my bright red "Think Black" cap with style.
It's all thumbs-up and pleasant nods and "we did it" air-punches around here. But when I pass through the gates and nod to Victor at the kiosk I even throw a what's-up head nod to my target fear group: the judgmental blacks who don't have their shit together and would judge me for being successful / assimilated / white-talking Oreo / white wife. As I drive past their bus stop they roll their eyes like a motherfucker and call me "white faggot sellout bitch." Solidarity! All justice/all peace! Rodney King's dream come true. Yes! Yes we can, Rodney. Yes we can get along.
Now if I can convert this Black President Jackpot (BPJ) into some stay at home MILF-box ass and custom hydro and I might even vote for Barack's sellout, Oreo, proud, no-passin' ass in 2012.
I got one for you. My wife, who is Italian (which means she's discriminated against here in Germany, where they all think that every Italian is lazy, scheming, from the southern regions of the country and is in some way involved in the Mafia and loves herself some "spaghetti bolognese" which doesn't even exist in Italy) showed up late for work on Nov 5th. She works at a kindergarten, and only part time, and they said when she started a few weeks ago they'd see in a few months how things worked out and they'd talk about a full time position. She came in tired, a half our late (we stayed up to 7am to see the acceptance speech here) and apologized and explained why. The head woman asked "Are you happy with the result?" in a seemingly test-of-opinion way and she said she was. Yesterday she got a call from this same woman, asking if she'd like to start full-time next week.
It could be coincidence, but my wife even said "see, it's the Obama-effect."
As far as general change in mood, germans seem as cold as before and I don't know any american blacks in this city, but the african ones seem to be as normal as ever, I can neither confirm nor deny any change in their demeanor.
Well the subways are the same. Yesterday this black lady got on at 125th and started hollering, "I need a seat! Lawd, somebody give me a seat! Everybody's looking at me like I got doodoo on my face," etc etc.
I was at a meeting with a bunch of 70ish black folks on Adam Clayton Powell Blvd. This one old guy from the deep South kept saying, "That black preacher on tv...Bombay...when he speaks people listen up-Bombay!"
You guys haven't heard this story before?
Blacks:
God save thy grace, President Barack! my royal Obama! God save thee, my sweet boy!
President 44:
Presume not that I am the thing I was;
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn'd away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come near our person by ten mile.
(excellent post btw, Mr. Nigger. Simply great.)
I hugged a random black guy at a bar during obama's acceptance speech. that never happened to me before.
I live in the south, and white republicans are acting like they shit is ruined. I think they're more mad with me and my "good black" deal than with my ghetto dwelling cousins. I guess they felt like the regular niggers were easy enough to control.... not too bright, easily swayed with flashy music and shiny objects, and special dance moves.
A black dude with above average intelligence and a vocabulary, I think, looks like a direct threat to them, just like that other uppity nigger who lucked out and got into office.
Like I'm going to buy the house next to them, and invite all my niggas over, and date their daughters, and fuck their wives while they're at work.(like on ALL the pornos)
White people are mad down here, yall.
@anonymous 10:18
You're gay... and racist.
I just went to a soul food restaurant in scaryblack, south Dallas for the second time. The first, pre-Obama visit shocked me by how little notice was taken of the me, the white man, when I walked in. The second, Obama-elect time, I was shocked that people actually seemed to look up and notice me. I wonder if they they were afraid I was going to whip out a pistol and start Keepin' The Niggras In Their Place. But when I went to pay, the old black lady at the register smiled (when was the last time I saw a black woman smile?) at me and said, "Sure do appreciate you." As I ate, I didn't hear any loud self-congratulatory asshole-ry (which I'd imagined), just lots of quite "Thank God" and "I wish Momma was alive to see it."
well i won't speak for blacks but in PR land no change. do they know there was an election? did they vote? do they know we even have a president? who the fuck knows..all i hear is MEGA MEGA MEGA MEGA MEGA MEGA MEGA!!!
oh and the little kids are still in the street at 3am. Puerto Rico Ho!
I did see a Mexican dude with an Obama button. I thought that was pretty cool what with the raging black v. cholo race war out in LA (look up NK sometime): http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-firestone18oct18,0,6500817.story
The whites are angry in the north too carolinahaze. One of my friends works as a paralegal in a mainly white law office and he said that the office has been in a funk and everyone's grumpy since the election. He's black, grew up in the Bronx, in his thirties and voted for Obama. Talk about being in a petri dish and under a microscope.
Obama is not just going to be just 'black president' he is, i am convinced, going to be also known as 'best president.' Also, side note, if the new Democratic coalition is made up of educated white men, women, youth and throngs of enthusiastic non-whites--with the shifting racial demographics of the nation--I wonder if the democrats are ever going to be able to run a white guy again and if not will that break the parties into basically the white party and the non-white party?
My friend (Jamaican) told me (half-negro (nooreo)) that I can not dance. I told her, "I bet Obama can't dance either." For me its just ego, but I am hoping little black kids all over the States are saying, "bet Obama got good grades..." etc...
ok. i'm a cracker from mn. that being said, while my daily dealings are largely honky to honky i am a person that tends to look at others and offer a smile as i make my way.
B.O. (before obama) with black folks my positive "hit rate" with this invitation for brief social engagement was running about 1 outta 3 or 4 but now A.O. (after obama) my positive hit rate has been running about 3 outta 4. admittedly i feel less "weighted" and anxious and more positive and connected and hopeful and it's likely this has been a "coloring" factor for me both B.O. and A.O.
I'm that black girl (no sellout) that the realblacks are always suspicious of and when they find out my husband is white the look is like "see, I knew it" but they are still nice once the ice is broken. And I'm only in my office 3 days a week max so that doesn't help either.
Anyway, yesterday one of the realblacks introduced himself at the vending machine yesterday (while I'm no longer pregnant, I cannot shake the 2pm craving for a Snickers bar). The first thing he asked was if I'd hear anybody (whites) talking about the election after election night. I said I works with journalists (meaning left-leaning) so yeah. He replied, well of course (meaning they have to report it). I corrected and said, no, they are happy, pleased, feel like it's huge, etc. He said "oh, cause down here it's like crickets."
This, I'm pretty sure, is what the realblacks are talking about at my office. But, knowing most of the (white) folks who work at my office, I'm pretty sure this is imagined.
My (white republican, but moderate) husband keeps pointing out that the election doesn't really mean anything except that GWB sucked. In context, I agree. But you (and he agrees) can't deny the significance of a halfrican in the white house. I do, however agree that it doesn't mean we've "come so far." We have clearly advanced, but the road is loooong and the numbers support it (no-debbie downer).
Hugged a lot of black men I didn't know on election night (nohippie), and exchanged a lot of those knowing smiles on the C train the next day or two. Not so much random hugging and smiling one week in.
I kind of fell for the 'first post-racial president' line right up until election night, when a group of teenage boys ran past me on Myrtle Avenue at 1:00 AM chanting "My president is black... My president is JUST LIKE ME!!!" And then I started to cop that maybe this wasn't just a victory for over-educated unapologetically intellectual progressive types.
It is pretty awe inspiring that my paste-white kids are going to come to consciousness with a black man as their president (knock wood). There is this feeling in the air that maybe things really are going to start getting better, and that, yes, electing Obama shows the world that America not only has, but also is the bomb.
But I don't think day-to-day race shit is going to change that much anytime soon. I'm already back to bracing for a beatdown when that group of teenage boys is running towards me on Myrtle after midnight. And I've been sort of smiling to myself picturing the genuine astonishment of some white dude in Clinton Hill getting his iPhone jacked by a couple of project niggas, despite the "HOPE" badge on his messenger bag. "But... but I phonebanked for Obama."
"And I've been sort of smiling to myself picturing the genuine astonishment of some white dude in Clinton Hill getting his iPhone jacked by a couple of project niggas, despite the "HOPE" badge on his messenger bag. 'But... but I phonebanked for Obama.'"
This isn't funny but at the same time is hilarious and reminds me of the other story I meant to tell and completely forgot b/c I am newborn sleep deprived.
My former (white) boss was driving from my old (ghetto ass) office building through the not so nice neighborhood we always drove through b/c it's the quickest way to the trendiest part of town where we would regularly spend way too much on lunch. Some realblacks were stopped in the midle of the [stop. Just caught the ESPN clip of Tiger Woods commenting on Barack. wtf these media people...] street, talking to some more realblacks that had walked out to their car. My old boss stopped and waited. And waited (and ps, she had two blacks in the car with her). And waited. Some other realblacks came up behind her, and didn't wait, just squeezed around. She looked toward them and put her hands up like "wtf." The loiterers moved, and she caught up with the passers at the stop sign. The one in the passengers seat got out, ripped the cover off his local black magazine, SLAMMED it on her windshield simultaneously screaming "BARACK OBAMA!"
WTF.
The Day After:
In a single day of school, I saw 5 people wearing Obama shirts.
I'm from Canada.
Me? I'm a white chick, happy my candidate won. Obama is the ultimate non-Bush so I'm feeling good. I went to work on Wednesday, great mood, full of smiles and rainbows and fluffy bunnies. I walked in, and it was like I walked into a funeral. While some of my coworkers are far-right republicans and unhappy about a democrat winning, some are apparently douchebag racist fucks. It shocked me. But you know what? The more I glowed with the bright white light of Obama-love-and-hope-and-change, the shittier their moods got. It made the win even better.
I think everyone is holding their breath and breathing a collective sigh of relief at the same time.
I suspect with a bad economy, ultimately poverty and joblessness will dictate where we all go with each other. These days lay-offs are colorblind. Who exactly will be saying "I've got mine"?
Dude, I am still in little fluffy bunnyland about the whole WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT thing.
I am of a generation and from a world where Black President meant an album (vinyl record that is) of Afrobeat music by Fela Kuti. His calling his album that was both serious and a joke. He did attempt to run for president of Nigeria, but his platform of dope smoking polygamy wasn’t all that much of a platform so nothing came of that until a few years later government forces attacked his compound and beat him and his wives and sons (not for the first time, the first time ~ in 1977 ~ they murdered his elderly mother); which is to say that even though he could never have been elected president they felt threatened by him anyway.
Too bad Fela didn’t live to see this day.
My experiences since Tuesday with Black people that struck me as being Black President related are only 2. One, we were crossing and turning a wide thoroughfare in suburban Los Angeles and two generously proportioned sisters were meandering across the middle of the road towards the median in those crazy pointy shoes that no one of any color can walk in. When we came up on them with the car they just slowed to a sort of undersea ramble-walk causing us to wait and watch them cross for an unnatural amount of time. As they cleared the bumper one turned to (for the first time) acknowledge us and shouted “we are president!” I found it funny, boy friend, not so much. That was Friday evening.
Thursday evening I was in the grocery and a harried black woman in her late 20 was shopping with her 4 kids all hanging on her and making a noisy ruckus, but a cute one. I locked eyes with her son (about 10 years old) and the smile on his face was amazing ~ like now he could just look white adults in the face (fuck yeah!). I said smiling back at him, “Yes, we did!” and I could see that he knew what I was talking about and his smile got even more HUGE. I could SEE his brain telling him that he too could be president. I about cried, I’m tellin’ ya!
That was the cute stuff. Now for the scarywhite stuff.
Suburban Los Angeles might as well be suburban Selma. These yahoos are some racist ass mofos, no shit. I wander into all sorts of mine fields where it is simply assumed that because I am white I agree with them. I have heard this sad, horrifying and stomach churning “joke” about an Obama Christmas ornament “hanging on a tree where he belongs” several times.
Another “joke” has appeared in my boss’s email box (I answer his email for him) 3 times, and he’s not a racist at all (it’s just assumed by the senders that he is because he is white):
Joke:
“Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah Winfrey were flying on Obama's Private plane.
Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled, and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten, $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Michelle added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred, $10 bills out of the Window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of their asses out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."
There are a whole bunch of others. They ALL end up with Obama dead. Son, the roof is off the racist shit now. It is somehow “ok” to make these jokes. These people are pissed off and they are scary.
Also, more thoughtful conservatives that I know are increasingly paranoid. They actually fear loss of liberty, black hoards in the street and “socialism” (regardless of their lack of grasp of what that might even be).
Bitches I'm writing this from the fucken unemployment office on 125th Street, Harlem USA. Me and three other whites are sitting here with about forty Realblacks and there aint no difference one way or another. We're all Fucked. An ebbing tide makes everyone a dirty nigger.
Lady telling us we can't use the internet connections in the Resource Room to look at porno sites...thanks...who here wants to get training for a security job...you need training for that shit?
Anyway man nobody here is enthusiastic about who's the HNIC today.
The realblack guy I play ball and lift with couldn't hit shit past 15 feet yesterday, plus his vertical leap seems a couple inches lower. yeshonkey
I'm a computer geek. No surprise, then, I suck at "reading people," and by extension evaluating the proverbial petri dish, no-aspie. Or maybe "yes-aspie," who the fuck knows or cares? Anyway. My black boss & colleagues are thrilled, just like me. For a while we were all kinda pussyfooting around, not trying to oppress each other with our political views, but then we all just kinda gave up and out came the Obama buttons. So, yeah, my black boss forced me to vote for Obama... kidding!!! Glad you asked this question, because I've been wondering the same thing. How's it feel, how's it feel, how's it FEEL? People in my world seem to all act just the same as ever, but like I said I'm a terrible judge AND I live in an ebony and ivory fantasy world, not the RealAmerica.
I'm a little white girl who voted for Obama, sooo happy. At the office it is mixed because half of my co-workers are vehement Obabma supporters (all women one black) and half are die-hard repubs. It has been a political debate shit storm here every day for the past year and frankly I'm just glad that part is over. On Wednesday morning all the McCainians were really upset and just kept saying to us "you get what you wish for" kind of naysayer bullshit. But for the most part they have shut their gabs.
I live in Clinton Hill and I can't say I've noticed a lot of change here. There was definitely some more positive energy in the air on Wednesday but since then it is biz as usual. I am still going to be scared of the group of 12 year old black girls that call me a white whore and pull my hair when I walk by. And I'm still going to put my ipod away before I get off the bus.
I wanted Obama to win mainly because I HATED Bush. McCain was a Bush clone. I think alot of people felt this way.
I don't think racial tensions will change. Even before Obama you had many whites that got more insulted by the word nigger than real niggas did--just because it makes the whiteies feel righteous.
Anyway, hopefully we can all have interracial babies together and share an ice cold glass of Kool-Aid in peace. Or maybe chicken wings dipped in mayonnaise will be all the rage now. GOBAMA!
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