Ask Blognigger:Should I Admit to My Wife That I'm Gay?

Astute Reader Franz the Fake writes:

Blognigger,

Alright, here's my sob story. I'm a forty-one year old dad that lives in Park Slope. I've got the two greatest kids in the world and my wife is my best friend. But let me get right to it: It's become clear to me over the last ten years that I am gay. Not bi-sexual, gay. Of course I used to think that I was bi-sexual and even got married under that self-perception, though without admitting what i then felt were just "homosexual tendencies" to my wife.

I've always known that I was at least partially attracted to men as I've been having sexual thoughts about men for my entire life. For as long as I can remember. As the years have gone on though, I see more and more that I'm living a lie, and at forty one (you might be too young to understand this but I'm taking my chances with you since you seem to have wisdom beyond your years on so many other topics) at forty one, I'm starting to realize that despite my overwhelming desire to provide for the ones I love, the idea of living a lie might not be something I can ultimately life with.. The idea that another 10 years will pass, and then another 10, and I'll look at the mirror every morning and think that while it's been filled with love and meaning - it won't have been ME that's been living this life.

Does that make any sense to you?

I would never want my children to end up in a position like this. Where they feel their entire life is an act and a lie - and I know that the truth will hurt them and tear up my family, but how can I lead them by example while living a lie?

If this is making any sense, I'd appreciate any of the unique wisdom i've come to expect from you blognigger. Go ahead and print any and all of this if it serves your purposes. I've changed all the telling details already and my email address is a one-off, so go ahead and do whatever you like.

Thanks for listening...
Franz the Fake

...my answer is over here at Carnage del Calle.