Organ Stanley; Sucking a Dick Was The Easy Part.

If the Blonde Marley experiment gave us all an eyebrow-raising tip-off regarding our local 718 outreach prowess, then this Gay Virgin shit has demonstrated something similar on a macro-scale.

The fact that a blognigger with an ingenious idea could move from ask-bn to salon.com to gawker to having New York Post-level niggas knocking on his door in under 48 hours; The fact that people who call themselves 4skinz, donkey kong, and cunty mcstevens could potentially wind up on the front page of cnn.com through any means short of shooting up their highschools, is a frightening thought that should reshape our perception of ourselves and our bn community.

Now gimme a second - bear with me because I know that Everybody already fuckin knows Everything there is to know in the whole universe - Some of you are exactly like my wife.
Must be awesome knowing everything all the time, ya cunts. Man puts set of encyclopedia on ebay: "Set of encyclopedias for sale; no longer needed; Recently married, wife knows everything."

Well listen: I'll wager that exactly none of you know what a hatemail flood is like. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do to deserve it - it is very fucking difficult to be a human being and let that shit roll off your back. Hint: you couldn't do it.

Sometimes people ask me "Why are you such a fucking pussy that you have to moderate comments on Blognigger?"

One day I'll do a Too Hot For Blognigger post where I give you a whole bunch of these, but right now just settle for part of this one from June that I still think about a lot:

-snip- When you wake up and go to bed you should know your a nigger. when you look in the mirror you see a nigger and so you hate yourself and wish you were white. Here's something you should know: your not white your a nigger! your black and disgusting with nigger curly hair, and your son is a nigger, and your wife is a nigger whore whose pussy i am going to fuck while she screams. you might think that i'm joking but you know what? you might find out differently. I'm going to wait outside your son's fucking school, and i'm going to take your wife into a van, and i'm going to fuck her, and fuck your son, and cut his nigger dick off with a pair of scissors, and watch his black blood pour onto my floor mats and onto your screaming wife and onto my face and onto -snip-

It goes on, ok? For a while. And this guy posts a lot. So that's why I moderate comments.

Now picture about 100 messages not quite this bad but similar over a 6 month period. But now imagine 2000 messages like this, some this bad, to your inbox in a weekend. You get that little number and bold font next to your Inbox link, and you say "oooh! i've got mail!" and you click it, and you see a message like this. And another, and another, and another, and another, and another. Celebrity in the UK!

And do you think you're such a big man on campus that you have the power to say, "ah, cmon, this guy is full of shit, he doesn't have a van - he doesn't know where my son goes to school. He doesn't know who my wife is. Fuck him! I'm a man! This is just some BULLSHIT on the internet!"

Or do you think you shit your pants a little.

The good news is that it gets easier and less scary. But if you're a VERY green fucking n00b like Gay Virgin, and you get 2000 messages like this in a weekend, what do you think happens?

Here's what happened to him:

He puts his shit up on the internets. He posts it to craigslist and some gay forums. (literally) He gets a few bids - real or not, how the fuck should I know. Then he posts it on
blognigger, and it gets picked up by salon, collegecandy, miamiherald, gawker, etc. So he's getting hundreds of thousands of visits, and a bunch of bids but thousands of emails. This one says they know who he is and they're gonna tell his parents, this one says he's gonna find him and slit his throat upside down so the blood goes in his eyes while he's dying cause that's the only way to kill a whore, and one guy writes this EXTREMELY realistic and CALM email which is a warning, saying he knows someone who is bidding on the auction is planning to rape him in the ass and kill him, and so on.

I don't care if the guy is wall street scum, I don't care if he's a whore, I don't care if it's his fault. I feel him because I know what it's like to get that kind of attention.

Now, he has no fucking tracking on his puny little web page, so he has no idea where the hits are coming from - he thinks all these fucking emails are from blogniggers or people we forwarded it to. He puts a little retarded sign in the border of his site "thanks for all the traffic, blognigger!" But when it turns sour, he writes me to ask if I can take his letter off the site - he's gotten enough exposure now, thanks!

Damn too late nigga that shit is all over the internets! Already? Yes fuckin already! In any case, when I think of that little retarded plea he made for me to take him off blognigger.com, the image in my head is of the wylie coyote nigga holding the little parasol, just as an ASSLOAD of fucking boulders are about to drop onto his fucking head:


SLAM a billion boulders from people who want him dead and killed and want to fuck him but first examine his dick and balls and ass and kill him. Must be quite an experience!

Aside from the barrage of suckfuckkill, he also gets email from a rabbi and a couple of priests (they don't want to fuck him, go figure) trying to gently dissuade him from going through with this. He ALSO gets an email from a guy offering him a job instead of sucking a dick.

But the money's piling up - it's up to twenty-one thousand dollars in not more than two days, which is just how Natalie Dylan's started out - in the end, her highest offer was over a million bucks. A million bucks to suck a dick; finally, the age-old Indecent Proposal from midnight sleepaway camp conferences made real.

Sunday evening, he starts getting interview requests from the mainstream media. A bunch of 'em. Shit your grandma reads; The story is going to blow up on Monday Morning. He's got every reason to believe that if he can hold on, he'll eventually get Natalie Dylan money and all of his problems will be solved.

But at this point he starts getting a little panicky... he doesn't sleep and goes through some real shit - he can tell you more about this part himself when he writes an essay on the experience and publishes it here, which he's completely welcome to do if he honestly wants to drudge all this shit up and it isn't some empty glad-it's-over promise like OJ's quest for the real killer.

Now, do I want Gay Virgin going to the NY Post and these other fuckers and telling his story and plugging blognigger? Do I want the guy going on Howard Stern and telling Bababooie how he posted his site on Blognigger and Howard saying "blog NIGGER?? What is that?!?" and 6 million listeners laughing and going to the site to see what the fuck? Hell fucking yes! Publicity is the name of this fucking game! I need more blogniggers to be on this site and not click my google ads - otherwise, how will I not earn money?? Organ Stanley is a fucking goldmine!

But it's not worth it, see; I FAIL at being a perez-hilton-ass mainstream success.

It's a real person, you de-personalizing sociopaths; and you can't destroy someone's life and use them as a fucking whore even when they're a fucking whore.

He came up with the idea first, and he said to me: I should just cancel this shit altogether.

I said to him, man, think about this carefully. It's one thing if it's Indecent Proposal, and you're quietly slipping up to Robert Redford's bedroom...even that's a muthafuckin dilema cause you still gotta suck someone's dick - but that's the easy part!

You can't even handle the publicity generated by blogs, which despite the size of Glen Reynolds' ego are still flaccid pieces of heelshit compared to the power of real oldworld media. Imagine when 50 million people have heard of you like they have with "The girl auctioning her virginity?"

And because of the Wall St. angle, your story has the potential to be far bigger- you are already symbolic of the Wall St's crisis - what happens when you go down in HISTORY TEXTBOOKS as the wall street fagwhore of the 2008 depression. FOREVER.

Now that truly might not be worth half a million dollars and a tax problem.

Take that fucking job, and work your balls off, and pay off the bills, or shit, file bankruptcy if you have to, and get rid of that goddamn email address, and disappear into the anals of history.

That's just what he did, and I'm proud of him but he didn't have any other choice. It was a no-brainer; the kid was cracking up.

Yeah, the kid is a fucking brave ballsy little wall street driven capitalist and a STUPID irresponsible idiot who helped cause the financial crisis on both sides of the coin. But he's a guy - a man - accountable for his own actions but still a product of the system.

So everybody who thinks he deserves it - I better not catch you letting female prostitutes off the hook. When you see stories about whores getting raped and abused, you need to be the same stone faced killas you are with Organ Stanley. She deserves it!

Yeah nigga she got cut up, but what she expect? Bitch suckin dicks for a living? please. Yo when do the girl get out the hospital? Does it say what she charge for a dirty sanchez?

[all praises due dblizzle soundkilla for the Organ Stanley rebrand]