To quickly address smugnuts and the rest of the gaysayers in the comments section: before you wear-out your Haman-Groggers twirling them in self-adulation, I gotta tell you that you couldn't be more wrong about our nearly-gay friend.
I've just spent the last 30 hours in on-and-off gtalk chats with Gay Virgin, (much to my wife's extreme delight) and let me assure you that both he and his predicament possessed the utmost in authenticity.
Put it this way: I'm assuming the "favor" that he refers to in his retraction has less to do with my initial posting of his "Ask BN" letter, and more to do with my talking him down and into doing the right thing FOR HIM this weekend, which of course was getting away from this "auction" as fast as humanly possible.
He's a scared fuckin kid, period.
Now, I know that's gonna meet with a lotta "wah wah wahs" out there, but IRL (and this was IR muthafuckin L) I don't know how many of you cocksmiths could withstand what he's been through this weekend and not wind up in a mental institution. (In your case skinz, transferred to a different mental institution.)
What exactly happened is a very sick fucking story, but I'm not sure exactly how much of it is mine to tell. I'll risk my job again by chatting with him some more tomorrow, figuring out what he's cool with, and then breaking it down for yall niggas tomorrow night.
Always a pleasure!
About Me
- Blognigger
- Brooklyn, NY
Black every day for 34 years; Never a nigger until Wall St. moved to Brooklyn.
blogngr on gmail dot com
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25 comments:
It is wild to me how THIS is the thread that garners so much attention. People are CRAZY about the homo stuff.
2 book deal offers for the anonymous gay mouth virginity online auction that never was? This whole thing has a Springer-level authenticity to it.
year, fair enough skaht-
I asked him what the fuck that was about and it sounds like two literary agents approached him... certainly not the same as two 'book deals'
Not to change the subject, but...
How much do y'all wipe if your gonna take a shower right after.
A)Completely and totally. Even grab the occasional baby wipe (for those of you who have kids).
B) Courtesy to medium.
C) Not at all and risk that some lettuce chunks may get stuck in the drain.
Me I'm a "B" but only because I have kids. In my single days it was another story. Mostly because of laziness or being unable to afford toilet paper (none of that $.99 Scotty shit. Rips me appart. And yes I spent the $ on whiskey).
Women be honest.
"Loving in the end"
Ha.
Nohomo.
Man, Rory, I've been saying for years that there need to be some kind of grown-up baby wipe. Buttnaps or something.
@ Mordicai...Right? If you had shit on your arm, would you use a paper towel?
The fuck is wrong with you two jerkoffs, esp. you mordicai - they've been making normal adult toilet wipes for ten years.
jump into the future with both feet, ya queer
Stupid Financial Sector Pawn spends more than he has, loses his job, panics, offers up his soft, wet mouth to the highest bidder, realizes what a bad idea it is, panics again, then bails. And for some reason, BN, you're consoling this dipshit. Wow.
You're funny, smart, insightful, and all sorts of other qualities that make a great blogger. But despite how much I admire you, I'm not with you on this one.
As for the nearhomo: Seems like a nice enough person and I wish him no physical harm. But he shit the bed on this one.
@ Mordicai
There is: Cottonelle Fresh® Flushable Wet Wipes.
@ Rory
A (I have OCD)
Ah, cmon Ribs; you 'spect two mavericks like us to agree on everything?
You betcha.
I'm glad he didn't go through with it, the tragedy of losing a job is enough for a guy to deal with, sucking a guy's dick as a result would push anyone over the edge.
Well done for talking him out of it BN, i'm proud to be a reader. As much as i would have loved to hear how the prostitution went down i'm relieved that it sounds like it worked out for the best. Out of interest, what was the highest bid before it was cancelled?
Did his gmail inbox him back to heterosexuality?
In all seriousness, I gotta hope the kid's ok.
capn sparrow,
It depends on the dook. If it's torrential downpours with a flood watch, shower for sure.
Anyone ever drop in the ocean? Heaven.
If he wants to humiliate himself for easy money, you should encourage him to do it the old-fashioned way: join the Army.
See, I disagree with Ribs.
There's a human story behind everything going on here - It's easy to label a guy as WALL STREET DOUCHE and de-personalize the issue. But If BN has been in 30 hours of chats with the real person behind this "auction," then psychologically-speaking, it's easy to understand why BN is tending toward "consoling" him and even defending him or going out of his way to get the guy's story out.
Anyway, this kind of deep psychological issue and keeping-it-real is EXACTLY why I read BN! what do you really expect him to do... go write about some funny subway story or Red Hot Szechuan or some crap like that while this is going on in his life??
Anyone who wants to read some superficial bullshit can always just head to Streetcarnage instead. The depth has always been the difference between that site and this one.
Awright check out thebiffy.org for the answer to how to never buy toilet paper again.
dude that should just be biffy.com
This touches me in the cockles of my heart. I'm glad you helped him deal with the degradation of loosing his 6 figure job and having to take an upper 5. It'll be tough but he seems like a trooper.
The more I read this, the more I think bn is fucking with us - e.g. gayvirginityauction is a fictional character, like the smurfs or bristol's unborn child.
either way, at least i'm not going to have to spend that $12,000 anymore.
well, answer me this ba...... if gayvirginityauction was fictional (like the jezebel whores and the make-believe chassid) then why the fuck would bn stop it after 2 days, just as it was starting to pick up a ton of real-live internet attention.
love,
fictional suzie
BA,
it's all good... don't let these other fucks make you feel paranoid.
He's really white too... hilarious how he fucks with us schmucks and we lap it up like (not)gay does teabags.
BN's SO clever, he's actually the dude in the banner pic.
I know, fucking mind blowing...
ah, actually no 4skinz, he isn't.
Being BN's confidential informant and evil conscience for these (shit almost 15!) years I know the man has a large sissy-like heart which causes him to take many medications just to deal with you worthless NY fucks. So I understand his want to console Mr. Organ Stanley.
Me on the other hand, waaaaaaaah! I lost my high paying job and bought too many toys now I have to blow a guy waaaaaaah!
Pussy
Organ Stanley!!! LOL
Man you've all opened a world of cleaning possibilities. I'm like the mermaid Ariel getting legs & singing to her pet crab or whatever.
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