I've been with him twice while he's gotten shirt-comments from retards; homeboy is a down-syndrome lightening rod. Basically, wearing this shirt is like walking around with a fucking dog or a kid or some shit, except instead of people loving you, they treat you like a dolphin-killing child molester. Given this phenomenon, it's pretty immature to wear the shirt around Park Slope– it's clearly indicative of some deeper love-me issues, but that's only tangential to the point of this story.For background, I'm not sure how much of the Che phenomenon to explain – at the very least, I'm sure we all know that Che Guevara is a very prevalent icon amidst the wardrobes of the mentally handicapped. Now, I don't feel especially passionate about the nigga one way or the other - I understand that the guy was a rapist and murderer and I understand that there are some outspoken, very eloquent conservatives such as this cuban refugee who can explain on several levels why people who wear Che Guavara shirts deserve to have their testicles laminated.
In any case, as usual I won't dwell on the heady shit.
Here's what I have to say: Some fucked up shit happened to my best friend this Sunday in front of The Park Slope Celebrity Centre / Food Co-op. My boy was wearing his Che shirt, and a couple of dykes and a brazilian-type futbolfag pointed at him as he walked by and were like: "excuse me sir, what the FUCK is up with that shirt?"
I guess they chastised him a bit, and then he talked back to them, and then at some point this one crunchy chick blurted "what is it even supposed to MEAN?"
So my friend goes "It means I have unprotected sex with hippie chicks." (one of his old standby lines... his other is "you look too young honey - is one of your moms around?" – yawn – these lines have been drained of all their humor and power for me, but I can imagine that if you've never heard them the way these people hadn't, they can certainly pack somewhat of a punch.)
So apparently, the brazilian dude and one of the dykier chicks got up in my boy's face- and one of them actually shoved him!! (At which point my friend fled like a jewish pussy)
Now, I know my friend was being a dick, but it's just so amazing to me that people would actually bite, and then actually want to physically fight over Che fucking Guevara, thinking that it somehow makes them fucking freedom fighters dying for their non-existent cause, or some other abstract broke-ass Zapatista BULLshit.
Damn. I'm supposed to be supporting Obama, but at times like these, I just want to vote for Bob Dole and have all these liberal hippies shipped off to re-education facilities.
And OH LAWDY the fucking Park Slope Food Co-op; don't get me started. Bunch of fucking judgmental assfucks – Cashier dykes who won't touch hamburger meat when they're ringing up your groceries – Overgrown Hall Monitors who delight in reminding you that you're "suspended with a grace period" for arriving 14 minutes late to stick your dick in a bucket of compost...JOIN THE CO-OP!! Oh Please?? Can I?! Can my wife and I have one more thing to fight about?? Can we fight about whose fucking SHIFT it is at the co-op, then go to fucking work cleaning organic piss off of toilets 3 days a week so we can save 40 cents on Cumin?
yeah, nigga please.
So, at a time when I'm supporting Obama and the democratic party... man, I just really wish that 90% of Liberals weren't such fucking morons. I can't vote for McCain: I can't support the right-wing, because anti-abortionists and anti-gay-marriage fuckers and chickenhawk fags who wanna keep our kids in Iraq - those fuckers are WORSE than liberal retards. Liberal retards MAY be more annoying - I guess they probably *are* more annoying - but they're also way less evil.
Feelin kinda stuck - Obama's the only game in town, but coudn't his politically-correct ball-lickers be just an ounce less absurd?
Can I get a witness?
22 comments:
You've got more experience in there than me; my dudes who used to be a member were all homos & weirdos, rather than of the hippie variety, so I'm just now from you getting the raw skinny on that place. Yeah-- the co-op strikes me as real fucking "open minded" in the style of "by open minded, I mean that I am a judgmental prick who thinks Kevin Trudeau is a role model."
Me, I still throw my vote away on third parties, hoping a motherfucker can at least show some support for something other than the two trick ponies. If it makes the pragmatic folks who think a vote for anyone other than Obama is a vote for McCain, I live in NY where a vote for ANYBODY is a vote for the Democratic Party, no homo.
Good to have you back mordicai.
Very interesting - I'm embarrassed to say that I actually didn't know all that about Che - I guess it is pretty fucking offensive that all of these wannabes are walking around with Che shirts.
In any case, it's not most Obama supporters that are "retarded" - you're still in good company - don't think of them as millions of Che-shirted teenagers... Mostly, a lot of supporters are exactly like you - they just want change.
I was a Hillary supporter myself - but think I'm going to Palin? Fuck no.
Speaking of behalf of all dolphin-killing child molesters, the treatment we receive isn’t THAT bad. I’d rather be a loner in a cell awaiting my impending death-needle rather than have my eardrums tortured by random Park Slope dwelling Capoeira masters who actually give a floating fuck about what is printed on my threads.
I really wish your coward friend could’ve mustered up the courage to sucker punch one of the dykes in that valley of neck-skin where an adam’s apple should be. There’s something rewarding about reminding a fingerbanger what her true gender is…
Oh yea, guess what: McCain is our next president. I have no faith in American voters. Fin.
Nice, back to the Park Slope reals.
I liken most of the fruits that live around you to my neighbor here in Seattle that I met at our block party. We were discussing beating the fuck out of the local high schoolers, smoking cherbs and drag racing and he exclamed "anarchy yeah!". I gently reminded him as he stood next to his bugabooed baby and fat wife that his anarchy days were long over. In fact, most of the so called anarchist Che shirt wearing pussies have never come close to any form of anarchy. Unless you define anarchy as having babysitting for your lesbian friends.
FYI anarchy means dynamiting a bank, or unleashing sarin gas in a subway, or even flying a plane into a building. Upsetting your parents because you went gay for a week during your freshman year at Oberlin doesn't really cut it.
That said Obama is smooth like Billy D in a Colt 45 ad.
It's funny that you'd write about this today. This weekend, I'm hanging out at a party, and the topic of squirrels came up. Doesn't matter how, we're all deep in our cups, and I make a joke about the black squirrels in my neighborhood and a comment I heard on "overheard in New York" which called them "squiggers". It ain't a larf riot, but it is mildly amusing.
Skinny blond kid with his shirt buttoned up to the top button and hair teased up a-la Robert Smith circa all the time proceeds to call me out as a racist. Now, as a white guy growing up in America, of course I've got race issues. Duh. But a joke pointing up the absurdity of applying racial stereotypes to the animal kingdom and thereby showing the absurdity of applying those same sterotypes to each other? That's what's gonna get me called out?
Like a drunk asshole, I engaged this fucktard in a discussion, proving the maxim about arguing with fools. No point trying to persuade a zealot.
And the co-op people walking around Park Slope look pretty smug and sanctimonious. If that's the price of membership, I'll just wash my vegetables a little extra. Guy's gotta have standards.
Fuck Che Guevera and Fuck the Fuckin Diaz Brothers.
Che appears not to have liked black people much--he goes on about how lazy and stupid they are in some of his more soulful escrituras.
Liberals are just as bad as conservatives in terms of their humorlessness because they are hard-core believers. Dig: conservatives freak out if you make fun of the army or Jesus or the flag. Liberals freak out if you make fun of global warming, rape or MLK.
It is a question of mood. All these PS Co-op totalitarians and their spiritual brethren in the Woodboro Baptist Church share the same intolerant mood of preachy arrogance. Fuck em.
oh man- who is this "Scott" character?? out of the woodwork he's 2 for 2. stick around man!
You know what- fuck you.
My husband and I are co-op members, and we've never experienced any of t blognigger and the rest of you are talking about.
The co-op is about work, community, and LOWER PRICES - as someone with money problems, blognigger, I'd have thought you could understand that.
Dissing people because they can't afford to shop at Union Market is bullshit, plain and simple so go fuck yourself.
I guess you have more money than you'd care to admit
hahahahaha anonymous 11:49am co-op freak are you serious?? - eeekk i can smell ur wife's hairy tofu soaked underarms from here. i like factory raised meat from fucking key food - its cheap, i don't need to work there - and as an added bonus the suffering melts in my mouth. can't believe someone got on here and defended that shit. at least put ur name up u CUNT
This inspired me. I'm gonna put on my Che shirt tonight, grab my favorite graphic novel, and head out to see some Klezmer music - maybe sip a glass of bio-dynamic hops...
Anybody?
Amen! After decades of voting in every local and national election (and all primaries), I'm done. The illuminati are real, and they are officially running shit. Don't waste your time at the polls, just prepare yourself for the great unraveling...Soon come.
@scott
squiggers = win. Tell that whiteboy from the party to suck my dick
so 4skitz, are you down with che's army?
Tommy, what are you 15?
Thanks for proving her point - you are typical of the kind of person who has negative feelings about working to make their lives better...
The co-op is one of the main reasons I still live in the slope - don't believe the hype - come see for yourself.
co-op power-protect yourself from the bad vibes on this blog! those orange vests will keep the scary, mean men away. they also mimic the estrogen-like qualities of plastic, and lucky for you, destroy any remanining testosterone! too bad they don't melt the stick up your ass as well. "PSFC-working to make their lives better by chastising others."
"Dig: conservatives freak out if you make fun of the army or Jesus or the flag. Liberals freak out if you make fun of global warming, rape or MLK."
Seth:
Rape is totally as funny as the flag. WFTF?
I'll admit there's some insufferable liberals, but seriously? Rape?
Damn, dude, I'll make fun of the army and the flag and whatever all day. But...no. That's fucking McCain territory.
@ Cable Snatch - if by "Che's army" you mean cocaine and waffles, then yes, I am down.
I'll pick you up at 8.
Jesus man, your shit is funny ~ but deep.
Oh, god, I got chased out of the co-op by a screaming harridan the first week I moved to the Slope. I just walked in to check it out, and apparently the winged monkey guards were off duty at the time, and nobody stopped me. See, where I come from, people are allowed to walk around in a food co-op even if they're not members without getting their tits sawed off by a macrobiotic harpy in a wife-beater. As a matter of fact, I'd been a co-op member in every other city I've ever lived in, and thought I would feel right at home there. Er, nope. Needless to say, I take my disgusting yuppie grocery money elsewhere.
You're a link of the day for this one over at my site. I love this post.
the post in which you are link of the day is here.
ooh! I think you may like this (although you may hate McSweeney's, I don't know, but I found this amusing) http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/18gray.html
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