I'm obsessed with this video.
I've been up for a good portion of the night watching it. Don't bitch that it starts with a 30 second commerical – you're tellin me!! – I've seen it 100 times and you only have to sit through it once or twice.
The video is so fantastic that it's almost beyond analysis. The best I can do is dump the raw data I've collected– questions for both Cunty and Calvin, in chronological order:
Cunty: Why is it "good" that Calvin has a dangerous job?
Calvin: I don't get why you went into the house. You "like to purchase houses," so you went up to this house to get a closer look, you saw the door ajar, and then you went in? Are you like the black Goldilocks?
Cunty: How does Calvin "know" that nobody lives there? As an investigative journalist, wouldn't you want to follow up on that?
Calvin: Every time you say "left" you move to the right, and vice versa. What's wrong?
Calvin: Your son lives in 1998?
Calvin: Your dead guy imitation is hilarious.
Calvin: I'd like to hear more about the red-haired devil.
Cunty: Why do you all of the sudden get patronizing when you go "anything else you want to SAY-CALVIN??" You seem insecure. How long have you been doing this?
Calvin: Do you swear to god you're not just imitating Eddie Murphy the whole time?
Cunty: Why don't you follow-up on Calvin's statements about the black race? That doesn't sound interesting to you?
Calvin: Who is Larry Relaytha?
If I missed anything let me know. I don't think I can go to work this morning. Maybe I can – I have to watch this just a few more times.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
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11 comments:
He's just an entrepreneur.
Must be the coal dust. Or a sterling example of southern education.
But BN, a question: what is the significance of pulling or pushing one's wagon? I was OK following the Calvinese until he said that.
Translation?
@anon8:56
how the fuck should I know??? I went to a private school in manhattan.
I'm dyin to find out tho. is it googleable?
Ummm, did he say he thought it was a dummy but then he decided it wasn't because a dummy would move?
hang on malingerin, i got calvin's bacl on that... he means if he kicked the dummy, it would move, i.e. have a little give to it, whilst a dead boddy was like a ton a bricks
Calvin said "I shoulda had a depend on but I dint". The question is so obvious.
Story makes a lot of sense to me...coalminer Calvin examines an empty house, pokes around, jumping left and right, twisting through the maze-like tunnels of the ranch-style house he is considering as an investment property...finds the body...kicks it...sounds great, what could be more innocent than that?
A good cop could turn this country-ass negro homocide witness into a murder suspect in five minutes, and spin his crazy narrative into a confession in about five more.
'I can push my own wagon or pull it.....'
I think this means he can carry his own weight and thus is unafraid of the 'Red-Haired Devil'.
It seems his son was murdered in 1998 and 'they caught them guys'.
Larry P. Langford is the mayor of Birmingham and obviously has Calvin's endorsement.
this shit is hypnotically deep.
Good call Seth, Calvin is GUILTY! Of something.
Apparently creeping around people's houses is cool in the ATL. God help Calvin if he came creepin' round my manse, might rethink that extra-curricular my friend.
Although we have found the new Bernie Mac.
Nice tone from that reporter, "Um Calvin, I went to a semester of community college so I feel qualified to act like I'm not on the cock train for Jermaine Dupri every Tuesday night at Backative." Holy shit apparently you can get a job with Fox Atlanta if your weave is reasonable fresh. At least out here to be a cub reporter you need to be a hairless young asian with the diction of George Takei.
"are you like the black goldilocks?"
heh heh heh still rofl-ing!
I'm betting that the reason the video cuts out there is because the cops came over and arrested him five seconds later.
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