Dear bn (and bn readers)
What up haters!?
You’ll all have to pardon if this message gets a bit long winded. I’ve got a lot to cover and I don’t want to forget anything.
First of all, I want to thank Sydney Shmeldon (whoever you are) for giving me this opportunity. Once I got over being kind of creeped out that some weirdo is photographing me every morning on the train I realized that I’m actually really interested in this little exercise. Frankly, it’s been fuckin’ great! It’s not every day that you get to find out what a bunch of anonymous strangers think about you. Your posts have all been funny as hell and I’ve enjoyed reading them.
Second, I’m sure you’re all wondering how bn found me. I’ve actually read the blog myself a few times in the past and have always enjoyed it, although I’m not a regular reader. A friend of mine is a bit of a bn addict and he emailed me this morning with the link asking if that pic was really me. It definitely is. I contacted bn about publishing a response.
I guess ya’ll passed the test of the site’s reach.
I am, in fact, I white guy with dreads (btw, “Blonde Marley”, funny). I do live in Park Slope, Brooklyn. And I do ride the F train to work every morning around 8:30 (Sydney, I think you should sell your spypen and buy a better watch – I have to be at work by 9AM).
Here’s some things that I’m NOT:
Not a trustafarian (most of ya’ll got this). My parents have never helped me pay for an apartment nor do they support me financially in any way. I have a full-time job at a non-profit in Manhattan (not a teacher, sorry bn) and have recently started going to grad school part-time. I’m working on a Masters in Library and Information Science and have plans to work in some kind of academic or special library.
Not a Rastafarian. I do not subscribe to the religious belief that His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I was the earthly incarnation of Jah. Nor do I believe that Marcus Garvey or Bob Marley were any kind of prophets. I’m an agnostic usually leaning towards atheism.
An interesting clue to this, that Sydney failed to note or mention, is that I do not ever wear any clothing or accessories that contain Rastafarian imagery or symbols, this includes, the Lion of Judah, images of H.I.M., or anything that displays Rasta colors (red, gold and green). I mean, my dreads, for me, are not a symbol of Rastafarianism, but I DO realize that they can still give off that vibe. I also generally avoid wearing anything depicting pot or marijuana consumption and I haven’t worn hemp jewelry since freshman year in college. I own one Bob Marley t-shirt, which I haven’t worn outside my own apartment in years.
I would imagine that a true trustafarian (dreads or no) would most DEFINITELY have displayed these symbols and images.
Not a vegetarian. I eat vegetarian dishes sometimes and often cook without meat, because I find it easier, but I’ve got nothing against eating meat now and then. My girlfriend is a fish-eating vegetarian (vegaquarian as she puts it), and I often just eat what she’s eating.
Not over 30. I am 25 years old. In April my dreads will be 10 years old.
Quick story of the dreads… I started them when I was 16. I went to high school in a mostly white suburb of Philadelphia. In middle school I had grown my hair long. I was not particularly familiar with reggae music, The Greatful Dead, Phish, or anything like that at the time. I was into punk and metal. I was a wannabe goth kid for a while and wanted to dye my hair black. My mom wouldn’t let me, so I decided to go for dreads instead. The first dreadlocks I remember seeing were on Lane Staley of Alice in Chains. Besides the goth I was also into metal like Korn and Soulfly, which is I guess what made me originally, be like, “yeah I’m going to do this to be like those guys”.
I didn’t go to a salon. I did it the real/hard/idiotic way – not washing or combing my hair for about a year. I just didn’t worry about it.
And now it’s been like ten years. I DO wash them now, just not every day.
Some final shit ya’ll got wrong.
I’ve never been snowboarding in Utah.
I’m not from the mountains. Love the city. Fuck the ‘burbs.
I came to NYC to get a job, not for a girl.
I’m not straight edge (c’mon people!).
I don’t carry around bible propaganda in my backpack (fuck that!), although I do take the flyers from the people in the subway… funny shit, you should read it some time.
I’ve never cooked crack.
I never followed GD or Phish around, although I’ve seen them both in concert and enjoyed it (more Phish than GD).
I have no tats, but I’ve got nothing against them.
Now for what ya’ll got right.
I do play music. I’m a drummer and I play in a couple of bands around NYC, although they’re all kinda defunct at the moment. I have no delusions of making a living from music. It’s just a hobby. Oh and I do beatbox, rap, and play hand drums on occasion.
I do LIKE Bob Marley, but he’s NOT the only reggae musician. And I listen to more than just reggae. If that pic of Syndey’s was a video (and I hope to Jah himself that there aren’t any) you’d probably see that I’m bouncing up and down to a beat that is much too fast to be reggae.
I do HATE Legend… actually I don’t hate the album, I hate people who say they like reggae, but Legend is the only reggae album they own. Seriously, he’s got more than just those same 15 songs. And again, not the only reggae artist.
I smoke weed, but I’m not stoned all the time. I can handle my shit.
In the end my vote for the winner of the little test is Scott. He had me nailed the closest. A little off with the location, but otherwise, close enough. I started growing dreadlocks completely unaware of the potential racial implications. And now that I AM aware of them, it’s been so long that I feel like I’ve earned them in some way. Not because I went through some comparable shit or anything like that, but because they’re part of me. I grew this shit from my fuckin head!
I definitely get looks from Black people about them, but more often than not I get displays of respect. Growing dreads of a serious length takes, to quote bn, “dedication – haters can't deny it.”
Finnally, Sydney Shmeldon you definitely creeped me out, but I’m hoping that you actually had good intentions in all this. I’ve enjoyed this exercise and I have no hard feelings. Save us both a little awkwardness and introduce yourself next time you see me on the train. I don’t bite and neither do my dreads.
Yours truly,
Blonde Marley
Thanks so much mr. Marley.
I'd like to open the floor to questions at this time:
38 comments:
funny, a metalhead. I didn't read all the comments but I doubt anyone guessed that. What's the big deal is my question
The big deal is that they were able to locate this fellow. I think that's great.
I'm a blogger from the Bronx and I hope one day my site will be able to have that much pull.
Well done.
PS: The dude with the spy pen is a creepy fuck.
Great response, Blonde Marley. Refreshing to see you have a good sense of humor about it.
I don't like to brag...
ah, who am I kidding? I love to brag. Thank you. Thank you. Try the veal.
This has been a fascinating experiment, and the turnaround time on this one was pretty impressive. BN has the major blog-street cred, I guess.
I don't know how it would work as a regular feature on BN, though. "Stalk the Person with the Racially Ambiguous Signifier" seems a little wordy. Maybe just shorten it down a little: "Stalkin'!" with the exclamation point to kinda give it that "whoo-hoo! element of danger/broadway musical" feel.
here's my question:
There must be some reason, deep down, why you keep the dreads. It's too big of a statement, even if you don't mean it that way, it's clear from your response that you are aware that regardless of your intent, the dreads communicate something (as you say "a vibe") to everyone that sees you.
My guess would be that deep down, you feel insecure like the rest of us, and that these dreads give you a built-in way of getting yourself attention, making you stand out, making you special, etc. Would you concede this, or take the "no way man it's just how i look get over it" approach - which I feel to be a cop-out and lacking in honesty.
(By the way, I would never be this honest about myself in public, so I give you mad props on that score. You seem like a really reasonable good guy, and thanks for engaging in this awesome opportunity for all of us.)
@suzieq -
You don't so much ask a question, really, as make a statement. Though you make a valid point (we're all insecure, of course), you then say that if he answers other than your preconception, he's "dishonest". Doesn't leave him much room to maneuver, you know?
It's sort of like the "when did you stop beating your wife?" question. Either way he answers, he's screwed - he's either insecure or dishonest...
Nice job, Blonde Marley. I've seen you on the train before and wondered what the "deal" was. Thank you for indulging all of our curiosities. That being said, I've never had the urge to photograph you or take a rectal reading. That's a little wierd, Sheldon. I am left with a couple of qustions:
1. When, if ever, will you get rid of the dreads? Will there be a ceremony? Will you save or donate the lifeless locks?
2. What the fuck is Library science? and how does it apply in the "real" world? (You may be able to corner that market).
I totally concede that in the beginning it definitely WAS about being insecure and standing out and all that (I was an angsty suburban high schooler), but that was so long ago and I've changed so much through the years, that all that stuff has been worn away.
Honestly, I usually forget that I look all that different. Living in NYC, most people don't bother with you. I mean, really... nobody gives a shit about a white guy with dreads when there's homeless crackhead yelling about Jesus and Aliens at one end of the subway car and a mariachi band at the other (unless, of course, you're an oddball like our friend Sydney).
So yeah, now... it's how I look. But I'm happy to talk about it.
No cooking crack? Not even once? C'mon...
Blonde Marley You Rock!!!! Were you looking for that spypen this morning?
(I am not the "Syd" though)
@monkeyjaw-
1. No idea when or if I'll cut them. People ask me that all the time and I usually say I'll keep them as long as I can. As long as I can get a job that pays the bills; as long as they stay clean(ish) and don't get any infestations or anything like that; as long as I still enjoy having them. If anything, the thing that will most likely get me to cut them is going bald, cause I DO cringe a little when I see dudes with "side-dreads" (fingers crossed that won't happen anytime soon).
I figure I'll bury them or burn them or something if I cut them. I met a dude once who saved his in a plastic bag... he showed them to me... THAT shit is fuckin weird and a little gross, like keeping finger nail clippings or something (his were all dyed weird colors too).
2. The degree I'm working towards (MLS or MLIS) is the degree you need to hold the title "Librarian" in all it's various manifestations. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do with it, but there are actually a lot of different things out there, from school to public to academic libraries, to archives, special collections and even stuff like business intelligence and legal research.
I looked for Sydney a little, but what chance do I really have? Couple of my friends were planning various (mostly ridiculous) sting operations to catch him or her. Again, if Sydney wants to introduce him/her self, I'd enjoy it as I hold no grudge about it, but if not... there's not much I can do.
As for crack... Rule "number three, never trust nobody, your moms'll set your ass up properly gassed up." So fuck off... ;-)
I gotta give Blonde Marley tons of credit for having a good sense of humor about all of this. Most people would lose their shit if they found out some schmuck was talking pictures of them with a spypen. A spypen? Sidney Shmeldon, what the hell is wrong with you? Be careful with your toy. If the wrong brother caught you taking pictures of him with your spypen, your ass will be Sue Simmons' top story at 11.
I am slowly starting to read this blog and might as well start talking here.
Only thing I will say though is way to drop Biggie's wisdom Blondie. Although it can be fun to claim or talk about your past with hard drugs (I'm thinking of that Mad TV skit where a guy talks about doing crack, and he's just like, uh, yeah... you get really high) I don't think it's safe to drop that information on the internet, much less to people who will be later saying "dude this blog showed a guy with dreads who totally smokes crack."
@neezy
He's anonymous ya cunt. the boy has dreads so he ain't gonna be gettin' no jobs anyway.
if he shaves 'em, problem solved on both counts.
Wow BN, you get an A-plus on your midterm. If I were you I'd be doing the Thelonius Monk happy-dance again cause this totally rocks.
On the topic of insecurities, of course no one is completely free of them, but it looks like our Mr. Marley is actually unusually self-possessed.
He's gonna be the coolest librarian ever.
OK, Blondie Marley now takes the crown for the menschiest response of all time on Blognigger (previously held by me).
Dude, good on ya’ for being so cool.
Metal. Hummm, now as a former A&R witch I should have thought of that.
Library Science btw is a cool thing and makes a person highly employable; not hugely remuneratively employable, but employable none the less. In addition Librarians, being the targets of whack-job crazies like Sarah Palin who try to burn their books and stuff, are famously tolerant of weird hairstyles, sexual preference deviance (not the criminal type) and political extremism in their ranks. So ~ good choice.
Now with Whitedreadman revealed to be a nice sane guy, we need to take a much closer look at Sydney.
I can think of only one reason why a man would use a spy pen on a subway instead of a camera phone like everyone else; that would be to take pervy shots up schoolgirl skirts. I would put even bank on this predilection being part of the Sydney personality tool-pack complete with churning internal justifications as to why it’s ok ~ (“I’m not hurting anyone”,” Nobody even knows what I am doing”,” They are asking for it with those short school uniform skirts” … etc.) We will, of course, never know, and yes, I am aware that like Suzie I am setting up Sydney in such a way that any response will seem to prove my point, but everyone seems to have agreed that he is a creep anyway, at best.
Gotta give credit to Bob, maybe I'll change my opinion on whites with dreads,
nah fuckit
I do have hair advice though, i had long hair at one point in a ponytail and it started to make my hair leave my head in the top/side area (imagine if you will GROWING a widows peak) so i cut it, watch for that as i know dreads pull in the same area.
Also, if you ever cut your dreads, cut one open and look inside, really nasty.
Your choice of hairstyle still makes me want to burn a girl's school but you show great equanimity sir. Why if someone took my picture on the train this sharp vest i am wearing would become a fiery.
I have to agree with lonebull etc, while the rastahonkian ends up being not that at all, but evidently a pretty self assured, articulate cool dude- one neverknows.
Sydney on the other hand, hey I'd like to see how you'd score on the 'ol MTA pervometer. Those pens, decent ones go for $200 or better.
A Zune maybe-but a spypen? Nah, you are scoring crotch shots on that thing,for sure.
C'mon,tell me I'm wrong.
@blonde marley -
as a blk dude who has had dreds (yes, i prefer this spelling) for going on a decade, i give you props. i also get asked why i have them and when i shall get rid of them, as if it is a phase or something.
when i started mine, i recall reading a coffee table books on them and there was a chapter written by alice walker and she put forth the idea that dreds are different because each person's dreds are different. this is the reason why every dred should be respected.
i also respect someone who does them the natural way because it takes dedication. not a hair style you can get over night
blonde marley you were so cool about this you almost made me take white dreads off the list of fashion deal breakers.
almost.
ur rad though.
man fuck yall bitches - all you are fake soft bitches
this is what those white boys sound like - just like the blonde boy0- all soft with no spine even when someone dis them.
as a black man, i think it is just wrong for a white boy to have dreads-----how basic is that?
those dreads are supposed to mean something- you can't just pick and choose what you want to take from the culture
and live the rest of your life like a white profiteer of the system. fuck that and i cant listen to you talk about it like he's
all good and this boy is all good just because he was nice in email. they supposed to be nice in email, thats why they act
like pussy ass bitches. forget it - this shit is all wack.
p.s. "dred monkmey" get the fuck outa here- that's a whiteboy pretending to be black if i ever heard one
Anonymous 5:11pm get the fuck outa here- that's a whiteboy pretending to be black if i ever heard (read) one
@ anonymous-
why is it "wrong" for a "white boy" to have dreads?
if "dreads are supposed to mean something" -- what do they signify exactly?
Rastas weren't the first people to have them (not even close) and there are non-african cultures that have been growing them for centuries.
So who's culture am I taking from?
Are you upset because you think I'm taking something from you, or are you really just pissed that I'm white in general?
I've had this same "appropriation" argument before (with scary drunk dudes on the subway) and I can tell you that I DO understand the feelings, but seriously if you're black and feeling oppressed by white people, I'm not the guy you should be attacking. I'm a white guy with dreads, what am I doing to you? I'm a working stiff trying to make it in this fucked up system. Same as you
Racism in America has ALWAYS been just a scam by the rich to keep the poor masses (white and black) from figuring out who's really fucking them.
So next time you feel angry about your lot in life, read a fucking book and then go shit on the lawn of the guy who's really oppressing you and leave me the hell alone... in fact, no, give me a call and I'll come HELP you shit on some rich fucker's lawn.
Blonde Marley you WIN. I read your post, smiled big, and then entertained myself much of the afternoon watching Bad Brains vids on youtube instead of earning my buck fifty. And if I see you on the train, I'll say hello.
I loved the follow up to this.
"Blonde Marley" - Don't listen to the condescending fuckers on this site. At the end of the day, it's you against...well, you. We all have hang-ups and insecurities and Woody Allen-esque neurosis. Therefore, it's refreshing when you meet someone who is confident in their appearance to the point where they don't have to appeal to a specific group, or purpose. They just are.
Also, knowing you've had the dreads for 10 years definitely adds to the respect factor. I had them for two years. Little did I know the power of a bottle of red wine and a pair of sharp scissors. And, precisely at that point, I went from the "dread girl" to the "dyke girl". It's funny how far hairstyles will get you....
@donkey kong
You don't suppose this so called anonymity is a bit broken down now that he's been thoroughly examined in the context of this blog? I mean, show up on his train, anonymity over.
Eh, but I guess I just felt like replying because you called me cunt. How... British?
And I gotta say Blonde (looks like you're gonna pretty much be that name in this blog forever) it's tough to say for sure that racism really is a scam. Tell that to my Confederate flag-waving, sure to make a comment about any minority around southern grandparents... I suppose you owe it to yourself to have risen above and analyzed the concept enough. Can we have a round of applause for postmodernity and cosmopolitan sensibilities.
(stuffy silence)
@dogisdead
condescending fuckers?? what the fuck?
We've been making friends with Blonde Marley all day and having a good time - I'm sure he's psyched by the response of the BN community...
and where the hell have you been? Off at Jezebel, huh?
Take it back, seriously.
@ suzieq:
Hey, HEY NOW. Check out the comments in the previous thread, wherein creepy spypen guy proposed this "experiment."
Pot head, fashion reject, it runs the gamut! However, I will say that, with every decision we make on how one looks/ perceives themselves, they will also have to contend with the stereotypes that, apparently, are trying to do the job for him.
And - also - I say NAY to you making that comment regarding his dreads as being somewhat symbolic of his insecurities. Fuck, you can say that about ANYONE, and ANYTHING remotely exotic/out-of-the-mainstream. Hell, me getting bangs could very well = my insecurities over my big ass forehead.
Basically, I think issues like that are implied, as they are with every person and one shouldn't be made to be objective and say "Well, I got this and this because I had low self esteem when I was in high school."
mmmmm i dunno dogisdead...
I see your point, but I still have to agree that overall it's been a very positive experience. I mean, the whole point is that most people started out being dicks yesterday when it was just a generic "white guy with dreads" - but after hearing Blonde Marley speak - this place has been overwhelmingly positive... moreso than... i dunno, ever??
The whole beauty of this is that a real bonding has taken place between Blonde Marley and the BN community, nohomo. An unlikely pairing to be sure...
Well hey - Let's leave it up to him - Blonde Marley - how do you feel about the BN community as a whole after this experience? Condescended to, dissed, or welcomed and supported?
Racism in America has ALWAYS been just a scam by the rich to keep the poor masses (white and black) from figuring out who's really fucking them.
You should watch this movie:
http://tinyurl.com/3rx326
Paul Schrader’s “Blue Collar” is about that very phenomenon.
Yaphet Kotto is great in it btw.
However, as the New Orleans raised daughter of slavery apologists (I kid not; my father actually thought that slaves were treated right by his great grandparents and said so) I can tell you that racism is real and permeates every level of our society top to bottom. I don’t believe even that I am free of it, black friends, black boyfriends or not. It’s there like anti-Semitism is. It’s pernicious and evil fucking thing, but it is there.
I know, duh.
sorry dogisdead, not trying to get up your ass... just wanted to make sure that BMarley knows that after all the ribbing, we had his back after all.
The kid has balls and everyone recognized that (except for that guy pretending to be black)
In that regard, I was mostly talking about the initial post. Although, I must say, all of this love regarding him explaining his image...it's a bit too much for my taste.
I imagine people gathered around someone (a leper, in my mind) saying pep-cheers like "Way to go!" and "Just keep on being you!"
While it's awesome that he replied to this in good humor, in the end, who the fuck cares? The boy has dreads. Done and done. And this isn't at all ragging on his personality, but in fact the opposite.
I agree with dog is dead -
the guy's a jerkoff. who cares.
It was great, but don't beat a dead horse.
Blognigger, keep it comin.
MOAR you lazy ______
With regard to racism. I'm not trying to downplay it's existence. I just wanted to point out that a white kid with dreads is not worth your ire in the grand scheme of hatred and oppression.
As for the bn community...
Yeah, I feel like people had my back a far as my privacy being invaded, and I think that's really what enabled me to get over the weirdness and embrace the experiment.
I DID kind of expect to get slammed WAY harder today. So I guess I learned a little something about the stereotypes of blog-commenters. In the end it was all positive from my point of view.
Thanks, ya'll. It's been fun.
Happy blogging, I'm out.
p.s. thanks to bn for hosting all this shit. I know you enjoyed this as much as anybody.
...and from my perspective? What a mensch. I was pretty damn surprised by the different goings on these two days.
Weird not to hear from Sydney Shmeldon during all this. I emailed him and let him know this was going on, but he never got back to me.
Maybe he's in county jail for spypen upskirts - an unspeakable act, but I won't know *how* unspeakable until I'm able to examine the photographic evidence in great detail.
...and as anonymous douche says, it sure is time to move on.
Great having you around Blonde Marley - thanks for your incredibly rare and impressive openness.
Thanks all- peace.
I wanna see the Ebony and Ivory Scat duet of BM and anon 5:11 as they lay Trotskyite cable on some Chemlawned Hamptonian greensward belonging to some Lehmanesque mortgage huffer. And the look on his Mex landscaper's face when he sees the crossed fecal strands. It's be like "Crash" all deep and universal and staementy but you'll be able to see the yams and pecans in it.
Holy crap ferdydurke you are an artist.
I have actually read Witold Gombrowicz but damn, you are pretty good too. You need your own blog. I would read it.
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