Ask Blognigger: Countess or Cuntess?

Astute reader Katie W. writes,

Fri, Sep 19, 2008 at 5:49 PM
Subject: SP
To: Blogngr

Hi BN-

I am very curious to hear your opinion on Sarah Palin. She's a cunt, and I disagree with most of her policy postitions, but there is something about her way that I respect. What do you make of her?

All my best,
Katie (Swear on my fucking life I didn't make up her name...it's another Katie...sweet! -ed)


Hi Katie,

Your .sig indicates that you are a senior member of executive management at an intellectual, morally unsurpassed, philanthropic organization.

You'll have to excuse my candor, but I need to confess that:

• your professional stature
• your organization's global credibility
• the fact that you're writing someone called "blognigger" to ask his opinion on a crucial political issue
• your usage of the word "cunt"
  

...all combine together to evoke within me an involuntary arousal: In fact I have a semi. Here at blognigger we at least TRY to keep it authentiik; I apologize if this reaction disqualifies my answer from being taken seriously.

Katie, I'm glad you asked. Here is the deal with Sarah Palin:

She's a mutherfucking powerhouse. Her numbers are fucking huge. Shit, check out the bitch's stats:

The girl is unstoppable.

Seriously, after witnessing the sheer power behind her energy and drive, you just have to respect her. You'd be blind not to:

She has the balls of mike tyson, she's tough as Putin's Siberian grandma, practices what she preaches, keeps it real like muthafuckin Soldja Girl, and her jaws can crush through a parking meter.

To top it all off, she's hot as a cuntfox, can suck a golfball through a garden-hose, and fucks so hard that even her kids get pregnant.

But here's the problem over there, Katie:

Take as exhibits A,B, & C the following personal email from Sarah Palin's inbox, hacked and brought to you by Anonymous 4greatjustice & lulz:



Here's the text of the email in case you can't squint like a chinaman:

Hey Sarah,

I am reading the paper, and have thoughts and prayers going your way...........don't let the negative press wear you down! Pray for me as well. I need strength to 1. keep employment, 2. not have to choose. Lately I just pray may God's will be done. I am trying to learn patience and to listen to God. I pray he gives you energy! Stength!
Love, Amy

Now listen: I am a black man who believes in the power of evidence. I believe that OJ Simpson killed his wife and the waiter - know why? Cause OJ's bloody glove was right fuckin there and there was blood in his car and his dna all over the scene. Done.

The above email is also evidence: it's a bloody glove with more dna than RKelly at a Junior-Varsity bbq. It is evidence that Sarah Palin belongs to a scary-ass Fargo North Dakota cult where niggas be talkin 'bout lord give me strength to obey and not choose, and I'll pray that He'll do this and that and Jesus make this happen and Holy Ghost this and that and all that shit.

Members of this cult are LITERALLY unpredictable psychopaths, and we absolutely cannot have any of its brainwashed adherents anywhere near the whitehouse.

The above email is every bit as bad as if Obama got a howler email at his table at Hogwarts with these bitches on the front:


And when he opened the shit up it was just all

LULULULULULULULULU!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLLAH AKBAR!!! LULULULULULU!!!!

Sarah Palin's email is just as damning: it proves that she's not just a Christian as in she goes to church 'cause she wants to raise her kids with some structure and a sense of identity and religion can generally be healthy, celebrates easter and gets a bit serious and then maybe even goes to confession once in awhile to sooth her soul.

No: she is a member of this American religious cult of fuckin wing nuts - as far as I'm concerned, ALL dem muthafuckas is one step away from being David Koresh with some branch dividian shit, hoarding weapons, building forts, fuckin they daughters, and blasting the FBI in some inevitable standoff.

What we KNOW about this cult is that they:

-hate gays
-hate jews
-hate and FEAR any unpleasant freedom that goes against the cult, such as abortion
-pity, condescend to, and devote their lives to aggressively fighting against against ANYONE who does not agree with the 2000 year old tenets of their cult- and always under the auspices of healing and openness will legislate as such. Their FIRST duty is always to the cult, and they will bend facts and statements of motivation in order to make sure that they do His work.

So what happens when the invisible monster tells her to do more unpredictable shit when she's president after John McCain drops dead of a heart attack in Feb. '09.

Bitch has her finger on the button? 2012 is around the corner: What happens when He says it's time for armeggedon and that He brought her into the whitehouse to fufill the prophesy of the Seventh Seal?

You'd be psycho to have this bitch in office. Period. John McCain is a thousand years old, and he's gonna die. I don't want him to die, I think he actually seems like a good solid guy and even pretty forward-thinking for a fossil. But he's gonna die, and then that cult is going to have an operative as the leader of the free world.

Fuck that shit.

Admire her from afar- she's a total badass. Good for her, she's inspiring - and yes, I'd fuck her so hard I'd give her retarded TWINS. But the bitch can't be president.

Vote Obama for us Katie - better black than crack.

Hope this helps,
Blognigger.