All amendments must be received by this Sunday night!
Friday, July 11, 2008
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- Blognigger
- Brooklyn, NY
Black every day for 33 years; Never a nigger until Wall St. moved to Brooklyn.
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14 comments:
Blognigger, you're my hero.
Oh you should run for Brooklyn Borough President. BTW, my azz was gentrified off of Sackett St. to Bed-Stuy in 1999. Thanks!
What IS the breastfeeding ammendment, anyway? If anyone thinks that I am going to vaccum that good boobie-juice out, repackage it in heavy bottles with ice packs to keep it "fresh" and then lug the whole mess around with me... fergit it. It already comes in the perfect carrying and dispensing package, and it never spoils in the old over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. As a software engineer, BN, you at least should appreciate that doing so would be inefficient and ridiculous to do so. Also, if I did THAT, I would also be forced to stick my kid in a stroller instead of carrying her, because that's the only way I can carry around the absurd array of accessories that bottle-feeding requires. And we all know how much everyone hates those strollers blocking up the nabe. So. No ratifying from me if there's going to be a zero-tolerance titty ban.
The fact that you are tracking this all in excel and likely the rest of the fields set it up to be a downright database is nothing short of hot.
Ha - yesss, Brosti, I was hoping you'd bite.
The amendment is this: Breastfeeding is permitted ALL the time, EVERYWHERE in the neighborhood with no exceptions.
Please, say it ain't so, Blognigger. I don't mind seeing breasts; I have my own, looking at someone else's neither offends nor excites me. And breastfeeding is a wonderful, healthy thing. And yes, brosti, you're right. Why the hell should you be expected to go through all that effort when nature provided you a perfect method of transport for your baby's meal?
But if we could please include an amendment about breastfeeding at the table in restaurants? I find the smell of breast milk rather revolting (sorry if that offends, but it's true), and much as it is unfair that I cannot enjoy a quiet meal with a wailing newborn or squealing toddler, it is equally unfair that the aroma and taste of my food are tainted by junior's meal at the next table over. I'm paying for my meal; junior brought his food with him. Is it too much to ask to sit in the waiting area or back by the restrooms?
Erika: I agree 100% with your comments on the odor, I think a sub amendment or grass roots effort for local restaurants to provide a CLEAN area for nursing is needed. Some of those bathrooms are so disgusting I don't even want to enter let alone put someone in there to feed an infant.
Erika & anon 12:20 - do you swear to god that you guys aren't the same person? Because I've never heard anyone say that they could smell breastmilk from another table - What are you, Aquaman?
Here're the rubs:
a) You both sound like lovely, completely reasonable and considerate peeps.
b) I hate the smell of filthy breastmilk too! hate it!
c) Bad smells while I'm eating make me want to fucking throw up and punch someone in the face:
Chold on boss! Let us just clean the table before you sit down!!
(Then they wipe the 4 offending crumbs of toast off with a disgusting fucking dirty rag on it so it smells like clorox and nuts. I get a whiff while I'm eating my BLT, and I want to vomit on their hands.)
d) I don't want there to be a rule that makes nice people like you guys not enjoy their food and get these vomit feelings.
BUT, I do think it's a safe assumption that MOST people don't have superpowers and can't smell breastmilk from a table away. Even if there are some that can, my understanding is that the usual objection to public breastfeeding is that it's "gross," or some fag gets offended by the sight of a tit. It seems like we're all in agreement that this latter argument is fucking retarded, and deserves no supportive legislation, right?
One plea: The secret thing about breastfeeding is that it's a lifesaver because it lets the mom and dad actually EAT for 6 minutes while the baby shuts the fuck up. As a non-parent, I never used to realize that parents are not allowed to EAT - EVER - while their kids are between the ages of 0 and 4. When I tell you HOW fucking sucky it would be for a mom to have to give up these 6 minutes of respite by getting up to go to a breastfeeding area every single time, just because aquaman MIGHT be sitting at the next table - you sound so reasonable, wouldn't you agree this might seem like overkill?
Is there any other concession you could make? Could you ask to not be seated next to a baby? Or wear a certain "alergic to breastmilk stench" pin? Is there anything else we can think of together that won't force moms to never-ever breastfeed in a restaurant (affects *every* meal out) rather than rule in favor the statistical probability of not having aquaman next to a breastfeeding mom (probably almost never happens - even to you, right? How frequently does this ruin a meal?)
Can we work together on this?
Thing is, it's not just the feeding, it's the burping that follows, and then the very real possibility that there will be spit-up, at which point, I'm done.
I don't think this should apply to all restaurants; I know Park Slope is a family neighborhood, and I would honestly rather a quiet, happily fed baby at the table next to me than an ill-behaved older kid.
Perhaps the restrictions previously discussed as far as average price per meal could apply to breast feeding as well? If I'm grabbing a burger it's really not going to bother me, but if I'm shelling out big bucks for a fancy meal where that aroma will affect the taste and enjoyment of my food, I'm not going to be happy. Especially if there's spitting up.
Also, this restriction shall only be in effect after, let's say, 8pm? Parents have a right to eat too (I say this as a content non-parent).
erika,are you kidding? THE ODOR?? jesus, you might have some sensory issues if you can smell a baby nursing. and even if you can (which i truly cannot believe) there are far more odors being omitted by your fellow adult diners than an infant (such as BO, coffee breath, garlic odors and so forth). babies have to eat and moms have to eat too. having nursed 2 kids myself, i admire anyone that nurse successfully and eat a meal themselves at the same time. not so easy.
I love Tits!
Um, maybe breastfeeding should have a cap? Maybe that whole anthropology "breast feed your kid till 5 like a !kng bushwoman" will make superbabies, & I don't hate on that, but maybe also having that shit happen at dinner can get CANCELLED. "Hey Charlie Brown, you can wait for some titty till we get home."
Thanks, BN! I think it is safe to say that almost everyone likes breasts, and for those of you with some ambivalence, remember that some German scientists did a study that showed that looking at breasts reduces blood pressure and makes you live longer. You can think of it as a public service. Not sure if this is the same German guy who says that eating boogers is a good way to boost the immune system. Germany is a pretty big country. Lots of scientists. I digress.
I was unaware that people walk among us who can actually smell a baby nursing. Amazing! In the interest of science, somebody should set up a kind of Pepsi Challenge at the next Celebrate Brooklyn concert to find out how many people can discern cow's milk from human milk, based solely on scent. A Vespa makes an excellent prize.
And it is an extremely good point that a nursing baby is a QUIET baby. A happy baby. Probably a soon-to-be-sleepy baby. These kinds of babies are excellent restaurant babies.
ok that's it. i was already crushing on this blog but the breastfeeding comments have put me over the edge and now i think you should have a fan club or some shit (assuming you don't already).
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