Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Ask Blognigger: Is Sean Connery Right About Slapping the Shit Out of Women?
Astute reader Tommy K writes:
Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008 at 7:20 PM
Subject: Ask blognigger
To: Blog Ngr
Dude! I can't fuckin believe how James Bond breaks this shit down:
So, is that it? I mean, he's an artist, he's European, he's given millions to charity... does that mean I'm good to go? Can I start smacking the shit out of my girl?
-snip-
Not so fast OJ – let's be systematic here: You've got more than a couple of things to consider before hopping behind the wheel of the Ike Turner Justice-Enforcement Van.
Now, I'd be lying like a common Park Slope Food Co-Op homo if I were to tell you that I couldn't empathize with your plight. Only the most full-of-shit-ass politically correct traitor would pretend not to understand what it's like to have that moment – the moment of dizziness that occurs as a woman's persistent refusal to recognize basic logic brings you to an unprecedented level of anger and disbelief; The moment that builds as she takes and takes and takes and takes and takes and is still nowhere near satisfied; The moment, as mister Bond explains, which occurs after you've let her have the last word, but still she demands that you sit in silence while she rubs the punishment phase into your face with steel wool; The moment whose unbearable pressure can only be relieved by psychotic violence.
Strike out against her! Release your hatred! Only your anger can defeat me.
Have fun on COPS. Have fun in court. Have fun in Jersey, unemployed and kidless.
And if she doesn't report you? Have fun with her holding it over your head for the rest of your life. Have fun with her TELLING HER FRIENDS. And FAMILY! And your family! Never mind if she fucked your best friend, called your mother a cunt, and poisoned your guinness with AIDS. you. can't. fuckin. touch'er.
Oh my god, that is SO fucked up! I can't fucking read blogni***r anymore because the only reason he doesn't smack his wife is because of getting in trouble! Listen to him! If he could do it and get away with it - he would totally do it!!!
First of all, I didn't say that. Second of all, bitch shut the fuck up; Do you know how many times my wife has knocked the FUCK outta me? I've been smacked across the face, punched in the chest, kicked in the nuts, hair pulled, nostrils held WHILE I SLEPT like a fuckin Manson family initiation ritual. Where's my fuckin justice Connie??
Yeah but we're women, it's different!!!
Oh sure, play that fuckin card now, when it's convenient, right? But what if I played that card when it was like, time to do the dishes or some shit?
What's that honey? My night to do the dishes?? But... you're a woman!
OH, i see, then the stereotypes are offensive.
God DAMN IT you got my rage valve bumpin. Abort; Just fuckin ABORT. ho's better have my money, case closed. Tommy don't hit your wife you'll go to jail or worse. goin to take a shit and then jack off. kiss my ass go fuck yourself peace.
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17 comments:
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Dear Tommy--
Are you Sean Fucking Connery? No? Then why don't you reconsider the question.
Exactly, if you're a smooth-ass Scots pimp like James Bond you can crack a bitch across the chops with impunity.
But let's face it none of us are, women are typically smaller than us and it's not cool to whip on the little people.
Caveat: If your women (or any woman) is DOUBLE your body weight feel free to get into a full Donnybrook with that horse. She can probably handle it.
(The above does not apply to a bitch who told you she was on the pill and turns up loaded for bear six months later, she gets a VIP Disneyworld line-skippin' Mr. Toad's Wild Ride down to stairs-town.)
Hey you know what works better than hitting a woman?
Telling her she's just trying to get hit, because that's the only way her daddy showed her any sort of attention.
Chances are, whether the statement is true or not, she will calm the fuck down and apologize to you for being such a twisted psycho.
I routinely practice martial arts on women: specifically, run-fu. Bitches act up and I'm gone like Asafa Powell.
If she attacks you, you can knock her flat on her ass.
HORSE where the fuck were you yesterday? You're in the UK right? I was looking forward to your opinion of BN's english accent...
I had a friend whose woman slapped him while he was asleep and then started crying when he woke up and chewed her out. He told her they should calm down and sleep on it and when she was asleep, he got up and proceeded to rub one out, bukake-style, waking her just before he shot all over her surprised face. Weirdly enough they are still together. But at least he didn't hit her.
What's wrong with using the natural, God-given advantages that we men have? God knows my wife doesn't hesitate to use all the powers of passive-agressive behavior she inherited from all the Y chromosomes in her ancestry. It's not abuse if you're just defending yourself using your 150lb weight advantage. I didn't take all thos Tai Kwon Do classes to sit on my ass and be emotionally beaten up without being able to open up the occasional can of whoop-ass to reinforce MY side of the argument. I'm not beating you up, I'm COMMUNICATING. Did you hear THAT one? No? Well, let me rephrase: KAPOW!
Now if you'll excuse me,I've got dishes to wash. And that laundry piled up on the sofa aint gonna fold ITSELF.
Anyone who hits his or her spouse or lover, PERIOD -- male, female, whatever -- is an idiot who deserves to be left wallowing childless and impoverished in a ditch of self-pity. No exceptions. I would never hit my husband in anger, ever. That double-standard is just fucked up. And anyone who ever hit me would never lay eyes on me, unarmed, again.
Jesus, I understand a violent impulse, trust me, but if ever there was a time and place for impulse-control, this goddamn well had better be it.
oh SHIT, bn:
Brosti just called your wife an idiot who deserves to be left wallowing childless and impoverished in a ditch of self-pity.
Still wanna fuck her?
(Brosti, not your wife - we already know the answer to that)
two points for Brosti:
1. my older brother taught me when I was 12 to never hit a woman in the face - straight to the stomach hard as fuck all the wind goes out of them and whatever they were saying with it. Shit is like MAGIC.
and
2. yo Brosti - some girls like to get slapped. i'm so serious. and that ROUGH sex shit, choking, spitting, covering their face with the pillow or a shirt or your dirty ass boxers - so many bitches LOVE that shit.
@bn / sammy sosa
WORD that nigga just FUCKEDup your shoes son
I just had to have the last word. And bn--PLEASE change your banner, I feel like I'm secretly looking at a yuppie real estate ad, when I'd rather be caught reading BLOGNIGGER!!
Hornery i want your last words as to my point 2. I believe you may have much to offer in this regard. thank you for your time.
@thomas
1) Yeah, my cousin taught me when I was 12 pretty much the same thing about kicking a man in the nutsack. MAGIC. But guess what? I don't do it whenever the mood strikes me, because I'm a grown up.
2) I call self-serving bullshit justification. SOME people like to engage in all kind of behavior that will ultimately earn them a nomination for the Darwin Awards. So what? And your participation in this is mandated how? "The Power of Captain Wenis Commandeth You?" Sell that shit somewhere else.
According to "How to beat your wife" on youtube,women are up there with camels and donkeys and should NOT be hit in the face.
Last words!
nice hornery. you rok. but you don't get the last word yet.
Brosti: your totally off base - check about my girl Lesley...
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/right-now-i-want-to-be-murdered-mix-tape/
she's serious btw..
the link got cut off. anyway check her out Brosti. plus its the best blog ever - cept for BN of course!!
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog
/right-now-i-want-to-be-murdered-mix-tape/
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