Red Hook Blacks Line Up to Rob First 100 IKEA Customers.

RED HOOK, Brooklyn (BNN) – Native residents of Red Hook began camping out early this morning, eager to be among the first to rob customers of the new IKEA opening on Wednesday.

"Nigga I'm jus down to get paiiiid," laughed an 18-year-old resident of Red Hook Houses, who goes only by the name of Twix. "Niggas be draggin they shit up the block past Mill and my man Steph gonna show em what time it is knowwhamsayn," he continued, high-fiving 22-year-old Zaxxon, a self-employed resident of the same housing project.

The pair are just two of over twenty Red Hook natives that have decided to camp out tonight in order to gain access to the first IKEA customers who are expected to emerge from the store on Wednesday morning. Many have come equipped with shopping carts, wagons, and in one case even a U-Haul, though none seemed to have brought tents or sleeping equipment of any kind.

"He gonna roll up like this here," explained one gentleman, crouched down with four others and drawing in a slate of dirt with a stick, "Comin back down around he go one way, and keep the Ektorp back up. Yall keep him back there and jus yell for Mable, Mable gonna come round and wave it back up the front and we pull it through here like she go through."

Surprisingly, not everyone camping on line is African American - two white Park Slope residents, Rob Tanzer, 24 and Jake Feingold, 23, have also joined the group.

"We read about this on Curbed, and we just thought that being on this side of the fence seems like a far more authentic Brooklyn experience," explained Mr. Feingold, "We basically want the black community to know that not all white people are here to displace them; That really, we're part of the solution. And of course we're also down to get paid."

When asked whether he was troubled over the shifting demographics of the neighborhood, and whether the opening of this IKEA perhaps represented a milestone in the otherwise more fluid process of gentrification, Zaxxon responded succinctly, beckoning with his right hand; "Yo nigga I could get a smoke?"